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0907
1 80 M Embraced
PathStep 1 Compassion hearts8 Forum posts2 Forum upvotes1 Current upvotes1 Age GroupAdult Last activeDecember, 2022 Member sinceJuly 31, 2021
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Is this menopause and what do I do
Family & Caregivers / by 0907
Last post
 November 30th, 2022
...See more My only family is my mum. she told my dad not to contact me when I was born as he was abusive and then at 16 my dad made some contact but my mum used to say he was controlling me and doing what he’s always done and just slag him off to the point me and him fell out hes still in my life and we talk sometimes but not a lot. I was very close to my grandparents but they have passed so my mum is all I’ve got. I suffer with emotional dysregulation anxiety and depression and currently getting assessed for other things. Me and my mum have always been really close but she’s got a new boyfriend and ever since he’s been on the scene she’s completely changed some people have blamed her behaviour on menopause but I don’t know, she doesn’t wanna listen to me, is very selfish, and gets mad at me over nothing and even gets mad at me when she’s actually annoyed at her boyfriend and it’s to the point I don’t even want to visit her. On Monday night I stayed at my mums and i woke her up with what I knew was appendicitis pain (don’t ask me how I knew haha) she didn’t believe me and made me wait two hours before she took me to hospital and was trying to make me not go saying get ready for the long wait, I’m exhausted, it will just be trapped wind. As it’s not the first time she hasn’t believed me and turns out I was actually really unwell she took me. I suffer with sever anxiety with my health and she was just falling asleep so I told her to go home but she wouldn’t. Anyway when I got admitted she couldn’t stay so she went home. I rang her at mid day to tell her it was appendicitis and they was going to operate an for her to come as I was really scared and worried I suffer with severe anxiety with health and anaesthesia she came late and missed the doctor but they then sent another doctor who was amazing! I was really scared and she was good with me and there for me but said a few things which made me panic. After my op she had to go home and she was able to sleep whereas I was in hospital getting prodded at every few hours and had a scare with my blood pressure etc. anyway I rang her in the morning to say they was discharging me and i was going to stay at hers for her to look after me as I also have two dogs. I suggested I stay in her room and she stay in the spare room just because she has a en-suite and I can’t walk very well and I’m going to the toilet nearly every hour after the surgery. She kicked off and called me disgustinf and cheeky and that she needed her bed as she was exhausted so I was a bit shocked but then I rang her an hour later and said they are taking me to the discharge room like now so where are you. She said she hadn’t even got out of bed and wasn’t rushing to get me I’d have to wait and that she’s tired again so I rang my friend and asked her to fetch me which she did straight away. I just didn’t want to sit and wait in a cold room on a chair when I am in pain my mum called me pathetic for ringing my friend and not waiting for her. When I got to hers she didn’t even ask how I was and just made me a drink the first thing she said to me when I sat down was that she had planned to go london to visit a friend this weekend and didn’t want to let her friend down and if I could just have her dogs and my dogs (4 in total) and her go to london two days after I’ve had emergency surgery. At this point I’m so mad at her and just tell her to go. She then tries to get my friend to dye her hair for her but my friend has to leave. When my friend left I asked my mum to ring the hospital as I forgot what they said about the meds and I just don’t really feel with it or up to ringing the hospital and she said she was too old to do it and just started saying I was disgusting and cheeky to come to her house and ask to stay in her bed and that no wonder my dad hadn’t contacted me over my surgery and that he didn’t give a *** about me and that no wonder I have nobody that cares about me. And said I was ungrateful and to *** off. I said some nasty things back and just said I’ve had an operation and that she was horrible. I rang my friend and asked her to come get me and take me home. I live in a first floor flat and had no food so I had to go food shopping as I was trying to get dressed and get my things my mum threw my house keys at me told me to take the dogs and chucked all my clothes from her house at me and I said how am I supposed to take them when I can’t carry anything she said i either take them or she will bin them. I’m now two days post operation in the flat struggling to look after myself nevermind the dogs. Is this normal behaviour for menopause? Is this normal for a mother to do? I have nobody else to rely on and we’ve not spoke much this year for other things like this but this time I think it’s really time to cut her off. I just wondered if anyone else has dealt with their mum changing towards them and being left completely alone and just what should I do I feel so ***
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