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10cinnamoroll
1 374 M Embraced 3
PathStep 35 Compassion hearts22 Forum posts6 Forum upvotes5 Current upvotes5 Age GroupAdult Last activeNovember, 2024 Member sinceJanuary 18, 2022
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how to deal with a healthy relationship when all you've know is toxic ones ?
Relationship Stress / by 10cinnamoroll
Last post
 February 8th, 2024
...See more haii , i'm looking for advice on how to handle a new healthy relationship when the only relationships you've had in the past have been extremely toxic . for context , my ex who i broke up with in January and was with for a year was extremely toxic . he verbally and physically abused me , as well as cheated on me over 12 times (i stopped keeping track after the 12th time) . now you may be asking why i didn't break up with him sooner , and the answer is because he had me emotionally dependent on him as well as he would always manipulate me any time i tried to leave (tell me he would off himself if i left him) . anyways after finding out he had cheated again for the millionth time i finally had enough and i broke things off by just blocking him on everything without saying a word to him . he still to this day will make new accounts and harass me on multiple different platforms but i just ignore it and block the accounts . anyways , in April i started seeing this guy , i'll call him h . h was a super sweet and genuine guy from the very beginning , on our very first date he even asked permission before holding my hand . he treats me so well and has never intentionally upset me . my only problem is , i'm still so traumatised from my ex that my brain sabotages me sometimes and makes me think that h is only using me for some ulterior motive , or that he's waiting to get me vulnerable so he can take advantage of me . i know deep down that he would never do that but i still get those worries and they make things very hard . as of right now , we have broken up but we're still talking . i'm realising the decision was impulsive and it's not how i ACTUALLY feel about the situation , i only acted out of emotions . that's how i get , i make impulsive decisions out of reactions to intense emotions . like whenever i start feeling depressed my immediate reaction to consider suicide . he has witnessed this multiple times and has calmed me down and pulled me back to earth . like i said before , he's an amazing guy . i really don't want to ruin this because of my overthinking and impulsive decisions when i get scared . what should i do to better handle situations like this ?
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immature boyfriend ?
Relationship Stress / by 10cinnamoroll
Last post
 June 18th, 2022
...See more i will start this off by saying my boyfriend is about 8 months younger than me . i’m not comfortable stating my age in this post , but i know that i am mature for my age and he is immature for his age . i love my boyfriend more than anything in this world but he also hurts me more than anything in this world . his flirting style is that of a middle schooler , he has the mentality of ‘i’m going to bully you to show my attraction to you’ . he says a lot of hurtful things to me that make me go into small depressive episodes and start to doubt me self worth . though i know he doesn’t mean these things , it still hurts hearing mean words coming from the one you love . i’ve talked to him about this and he’s apologised and said he wouldn’t do it again but .. he obviously still does it . i wish i could show him betters way of expressing himself instead of using insults and mean words . don’t get me wrong , i understand and even enjoy the occasional playful banter , but he takes it too far . i don’t want to seem like i’m trying to make him change to be perfect for me or anything but i just know that the direction he’s heading isn’t healthy . i just want him to be kind and sweet to me and not like a bully . i’m not willing to break up with him either because i know that he can improve , i just need some guidance on how to encourage such behaviour . how do i get him to be nicer to me , and also comfort me like i do for him ?
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