immature boyfriend ?
i will start this off by saying my boyfriend is about 8 months younger than me . i’m not comfortable stating my age in this post , but i know that i am mature for my age and he is immature for his age . i love my boyfriend more than anything in this world but he also hurts me more than anything in this world . his flirting style is that of a middle schooler , he has the mentality of ‘i’m going to bully you to show my attraction to you’ . he says a lot of hurtful things to me that make me go into small depressive episodes and start to doubt me self worth . though i know he doesn’t mean these things , it still hurts hearing mean words coming from the one you love . i’ve talked to him about this and he’s apologised and said he wouldn’t do it again but .. he obviously still does it . i wish i could show him betters way of expressing himself instead of using insults and mean words . don’t get me wrong , i understand and even enjoy the occasional playful banter , but he takes it too far . i don’t want to seem like i’m trying to make him change to be perfect for me or anything but i just know that the direction he’s heading isn’t healthy . i just want him to be kind and sweet to me and not like a bully . i’m not willing to break up with him either because i know that he can improve , i just need some guidance on how to encourage such behaviour . how do i get him to be nicer to me , and also comfort me like i do for him ?
@10cinnamoroll
I can understand how upsetting this gets ☹
You deserve to feel nice in the relationship
Do you think talking to him more seriously could help him understand how this behaviour of his affects you and how he should change it?
I really hope he changes soon and your relationship gets better ❤❤ please voice your feelings and discomfort always
@10cinnamoroll Hello. It sounds like your boyfriend's mean words and insults are chipping away at your self-esteem. There are many ways to encourage someone to change behavior, whether through counseling, seeing a positive role model, praising him when he says something nice, enforcing consequences when he says something mean, etc. However, it is ultimately up to him to choose how he speaks to you, you can't make him be nicer to you. These resources may be helpful to you in communicating your needs to him: https://www.7cups.com/boundaries/ https://www.7cups.com/family-stress/ I hope this helps, and feel free to message me anytime if you would like to talk more about this.
thank you so much ! a little update , we’re still together and he’s gotten a lot better ! when talking to him he now says things like ‘i think you’re the most beautiful person i’ve ever see’ , but he still has moments where he has random outbursts . it’s a lot less frequent then it used to be though . i’m still working on it with him and seeing that he has changed gives me hope for the future !