84bratgirl Member Profile

...See more (Cross posted) I've been struggling with this break up for months now. I fell in love with my best friend of two years. Everything was going so well, even talking about marriage and future family, until he hit a bad spell with his depression. On a Tuesday, he was telling strangers that I was the most amazing woman and he was so lucky to be marrying me. That Friday, he said I was almost the worst thing to ever happen to him, he was never really in love, move out today. I went NC immediately just due to the confusion, heartbreak, crying, etc. for a few weeks. Then I found out I'm pregnant. It's a first for both of us and I'd feel like the worst bitch if I had kept it from him, so I told him about the baby and let him know that I wasn't using it as an excuse to manipulate him into reconsidering. I am still trying to resolve that the romantic vacations, all the goals we were building towards, the last two years of my life, were all allegedly a lie. We are cautiously trying to figure out how to co-parent and what exactly his being supportive looks like. I appreciate that he's not just being a jerk about the baby, but the friendliness is causing more pain and more confusion. I don't know what went wrong. I don't understand how two people who love each other and are so right together, that it just stops for one all of a sudden. One of his closest friends told me that he said talking more about marriage and specifically a baby terrified him and he decided running was the best idea. I don't know if that's really how he feels or not. I can't be no contact. This "time" that everyone says it takes is literally growing a reminder of the love I have for him. I've tried being angry but I know his depression has him not thinking well. I just want the pain, the crying, the wishing he'd realize he made a mistake all to go away. I need to not be in love anymore. Any advice? Does anyone have any experience with waiting for a man to come to his senses? So many friends, including men, have told me that his whole attitude will change as soon as he holds our daughter for the first time and he will want to be a real family. Does this really happen? I'm just overwhelmed with all of the decisions that have to be made and what future I'm providing for our daughter. I don't know if I'm doing this alone, what visitation needs to be, his last name or mine, how to feel about both of us dating other people eventually, so on. Any guidance is appreciated.

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