AdVictoriam Listener Profile

AdVictoriam

1 183,415

L Virtuoso

Rating

Number of ratings212 Number of reviews67 Listens toOver 18 LanguagesEnglish Listener sinceJun 9, 2015 Last activeover 6 months ago GenderMale PathStep 331 People helped362 Chats1,728 Group support chats823 Listener group chats578 Forum posts931 Forum upvotes1,794

Bio

Currently Unavailable for 1-on-1 Chats

Due to work, grad school, and working on personal development, I don't have the time to take full length chats at the moment. Sometimes it takes me a few days to respond; other times a few weeks. Please do seek one of other amazingly wonderful listeners at this time.

I'm still around, however! You're always free to tag me @AdVictoriam in any forum post or send me a message as long as it's an non-urgent matter.

You've made it this far and you've fought so hard to get here. Step by step.

With Love,

AdVictoriam

My Introduction to You, Dear Warrior

Welcome to 7 Cups of Tea. I'm glad you found me :)

I'm AdVictoriam. My chats primarily focus on personal development and relationship coaching, whether the relationship is with friends, family, or loved ones. You can see my full list of categories below my profile intro.

"Unbent, unbowed, unbroken" is one of my favorite mottos because no matter what happens to me, I have the right to not let it break me. I'm here because I want to "pay it forward" and help others get through their struggles.

On Relationships: I believe that there are different types of love, and our relationships and connections aren't only about the romantic kind! It's super important to have all four types, and not focus on just one type :)

Agape

Phileo

Storge

Eros

This blog post does a good job explaining the four loves

Essie is my personal mentor, listener, and rock. If you can't reach me for some reason, you can contact her as well.

Recent forum posts

New Relationship Support Team!

Group Support / by AdVictoriam

May 31st, 2016

"Beautiful minds, wasted - How to not squander the potential of autistic people"

Autism Support / by AdVictoriam

June 28th, 2016

...See more "Autism is a condition that defies simple generalisations. Except one: the potential of far too many autistic people is being squandered." IN AMERICA in 1970 one child in 14,000 was reckoned to be autistic. The current estimate is one in 68—or one in 42 among boys. Similarly high numbers can be found in other rich countries: a study in South Korea found that one in 38 children was affected. Autism is a brain condition associated with poor social skills. It has a wide spectrum of symptoms, from obsessive behaviour to hypersensitivity to sound, light or other sensory stimulation, the severity of which ranges from mild to life-blighting. The range of consequences is also wide. At one end, the autism of a computer scientist may be barely noticeable; at the other, a quarter of autistic children do not speak. Autism is a condition that defies simple generalisations. Except one: the potential of far too many autistic people is being squandered. Although around half of those with autism are of average intelligence or above, they do far worse than they should at school and at work. In France, almost 90% of autistic children attend primary school, but only 1% make it to high school. Figures from America, which works harder to include autistic pupils, suggest that less than half graduate from high school. In Britain, only 12% of higher-functioning autistic adults work full time. Globally, the United Nations reckons that 80% of those with autism are not in the workforce. These numbers represent a tragic human toll, as millions of people live idle and isolated outside the world of work. Loving parents and siblings struggle to know how to help. Autism imposes hefty economic costs, reducing economic growth and swelling disability rolls. One American study suggests those costs could be as high as 2% of GDP. Fortunately, this need not be the case. Evidence, particularly from advanced economies, suggests there are plenty of things, from earlier screening to greater assistance with finding jobs, that could transform the lives of many autistic people (see Briefing [http://www.economist.com/news/briefing/21696928-children-rich-world-are-far-more-likely-be-diagnosed-autism-past-why]). Pieces in the puzzle Early screening is essential. There is no definitive test for autism. It can be diagnosed only by observing behaviour. Most babies learn by watching their parents smile, hug, eat and bicker; autistic children often fixate on inanimate objects or play with their toys in an oddly repetitive way. Relying on diagnosis by observation makes the statistics around autism slippery: one reason the conditions incidence has risen in recent decades is that doctors have changed the way they detect it. Yet there is little doubt that early diagnosis and intervention can help autistic childrens brains develop better. If parents fill in a detailed questionnaire about what their children can and cant do, doctors can usually spot the symptoms by the age of two. Speech therapy and other intensive treatments can help an autistic toddler cope and encourage learning and interaction at an age when the brain is at its most plastic. A study in 2013 in Washington state found that, though costly, such early coaching paid for itself within eight years by reducing the need for extra help in school. Alas, the average age of diagnosis in the rich world is three and a half. A second aim should be to provide autistic children with schooling that suits them. A debate rages about when and how to include autistic children in mainstream classes. The evidence argues against blanket rules. Some do better when mixed in with other children and given additional support. Some need to be taught separately, either for their own sake or because they are disruptive. Others need a bit of both. Whatever the degree of integration, teaching autistic children effectively will require more funding, to train both specialist and mainstream teachers. In one study 60% of British teachers said they felt unprepared to teach autistic children. From genes to synapses Maximising the returns from this investment in education means ensuring that autistic adults find work. Not all such people can hold down a job. But the high-functioning among them tend to be deft analysts. They can spot patterns or errors in data that are invisible to most non-autistics, making them attractive employees for software firms. Even less gifted autistic people often have an extraordinary capacity to focus and an eye for detail that make them effective workers. Their desire for routine and dislike of change make them loyal ones, too. They can excel at jobs that require precision and repetition, such as updating databases, stocking shelves, organising libraries or tinkering with broken cars. Firms that set out to recruit autistic workers, such as Walgreens, a big pharmacy chain, find them just as productive as their peers. Plenty more companies could benefit from hiring autistic people. Agencies that specialise in recruiting them stress that even if they interview badly (not making eye contact, taking questions too literally), they may still be good workers. For autistic candidates, employers should consider replacing interviews with tests of relevant skills—filing tests for filing jobs, coding tests for coding jobs, and so on. Once an autistic person is hired, small adjustments help employers to get the best out of him: for example, by providing a calm workspace and clear instructions, expressed textually or visually rather than verbally. (Teaching managers to give clear instructions is a good idea for other reasons, too.) The final element of an ambitious autism agenda should be greater investment in research. Medical understanding of the condition has improved since 1949, when the psychiatrist who first identified autism blamed cold, unloving mothers for making their children withdraw into themselves. Scientists today are sure that genes play a role, as do environmental factors. Still, many questions remain unanswered, both about the conditions origin and its progression. The amount of public money spent studying autism is shockingly modest. Britains government spends a trivial 4m ($5.6m) a year. America shells out around $200m a year—about what it costs to look after 100 severely autistic people for a lifetime. Such sums are dwarfed by the opportunity cost of having so many potentially productive people dependent on others. Beautiful or otherwise, an autistic mind is a terrible thing to waste. Written by The Economist [http://www.economist.com/news/leaders/21696944-how-not-squander-potential-autistic-people-beautiful-minds-wasted?utm_source=pocket&utm_medium=email&utm_campaign=pockethits]

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Feedback & Reviews

This dude, is amazing. she is the best.

This listener was so great... they actually listened to my problem and gave me some good advice on how to deal with it. I'm so grateful for this conversation!

Incredible listener. Cared for me a lot and was insightful with things which were bothering me

One of the best listener on the site. They are very attentive, caring, wise and intuitive. It's so nice to know that people like them exist & I could probably talk to them for hours & hours as they have an amazing, fun personality. I feel grateful that I get to speak to them & they've helped me in many ways. Thanks for everything, Ad. You're the best

Amazing listener with great advice about life !!

You are awsome

he is bae.

Thanks for your time, Ad. I appreciate it more than I can express.

Thank you for patiently listening to my relationship issues Ad, you're an awesome listener. And a relationship expert, i really appreciate your time listening to me even though it was late at night, * hugs*

Great listener !!!

Outstanding. Relationship guru. In one chat he provided more relief than months of professional therapy. What a breath of fresh air.

Very helpful! Thanks :)

Advic is like a best friend to me. Advic helped me so much, she is a great listener and helped me with all my issues. I honestly feel like he will always be there for me. Thank you advice, you my girl

Very kind and sweet person

Great mod. Very understanding, helpful and encouraging. Thanks for your support :)

So patient and non judgemental . great guy

AdVic is an honest and honorable person, he deserves a place among the mods because I believe he is fair, more than other mods I have witnessed. he honestly cares for those he deals with.

Awesome person!

This listener was very helpful, they understood exactly what I was trying to communicate. They were very empathetic and understanding, and I came away feeling much better and very relieved. I feel calmer and I know how to handle my situation. Thank you AdVictoriam!

I appreciate your time and understanding. :)

The first listener I can say I truly love. AdVictoriam has saved my life in a couple of ways now. I don't think he'll ever know what he means to me because I can't express it, there aren't words invented yet for that sort of appreciation. I don't think he'll ever know what a shining light he is in the mercurial darkness of self harm. Beauty, love, compassion in this world are an axiom, evidenced by his never ending capacity for care.

There to help me when I really needed it.

Thank you once again. You're awesome.

Ad was really sweet and understand what I was going through! He made me feel a lot better after our chat. Thank you so much Ad, you're an angel! (:

A very kind individual, full of compassion and understanding. No pressure, just an empathetic listener.

Highly recommended!

Thank you very much. You're kind, resourceful, and caring. Each time we chat I leave feeling like I've grown a bit more. I appreciate your time very much.

I would like to thank him/her so much for listining to me u are a very nice personne

Thanks

Thanks. You're awesome. I appreciate you taking the time with me.

i loved talking to him

Very patient and helpful. I know the next step very well.

Greatly helpful and enjoyable listener to chat with! Provides you with ideas to reflect during every chat and always summarizes information you've provided to ensure the information you've conveyed is coming across properly.

Thanks for listening and making me view things in a more positive way.

Open minded and patient, overall a very good experience that surprised me.

Nice

I am still in the middle of a chat which has been both much longer and notably more helpful than I was expecting on my first visit to the site. He has been a wonderful introduction to the site and I fully plan to return!

you are like baymax awesome

Helped me in a very casual, understanding manner and the conversation was very uplifting. :)
Thank you~

Ah, don't even know what I could say about this listener to give them justice, but I'll try. They were able to keep a level head, and they helped me to work to my own answers. They didn't just say the things I wanted to hear; they were kind, compassionate, reflective, understanding, and they totally helped me to feel better tonight. Thank you, for simply being you. For anyone reading this, talk to this listener; they're absolutely fab. -xx

An angel. Thank you so much for all your support and kind words.

Excellent listener, encouraged me to question myself to find out what it was that really bothered me and brought me closer to understanding the reasons behind my feelings and actions.

Definitely needed this. Just talking about it thoroughly, getting it in order and such, helped a lot. Thank you!

This listener was so very helpful. Kind, polite, patient, thorough, and thoughtful. I truly hope this person is in the helping professions because it is where they belong.

great Listener and support

Amazing listener! Extremely helpful and supportive!

Exemplary!

very professional and helpful

Thank you. Very professional and has appropriate ideas.

Great listener

Amazing help. I had no idea what to expect when I requested a chat but this has helped me beyond what I thought possible.

Excellent and very understanding

This is the best and most helpful listener I have ever talked with on 7 Cups of Tea. He took all of my problems and worked with me to help sort things out. If you are looking for someone to get you through a rough time in your life, this is a great person to chat with. Thank you so much for everything you did for me.

Fantastic listener and analyzer.

Incredibly professional, polite and honest. They take an analytical question approach and help one think of their own answers rather than lead. that's good regarding leading someone to a conclusion. Yet, it leads me to be curious. What are they thinking, and how they are feeling...regardless, this person is focused and dedicated.

Amazing. Simply amazing. I'm getting help to get my life back together

Was A good experience .

Thank you for the question app info. Between 7 cups and that I know I'll work things out!

Best listener ever. Able to use logic and reason to come up with the best solution to problems especially those related to cultural differences. Very bright person and very thoughtful. Would recommend him to anyone.

Extremely helpful, really good at talking through and analyzing situations. Tries to understand and gives resources. The first listener I've communicated with since I got the app yesterday and a great start!

Very helpful. I finally have someone who I can talk to again & it's nice.

A gem of a person. Very thoughtful, patient and kind with words.

he was very nice and knowleagable

Awesome

Awesome!

Awesome person to chat with

Fantastic.....

Likes to make you think. Asks you hard questions, but they are the kind to jostle you back into reality. Very helpful.

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