AdamSnook8 Member Profile

...See more I caught my fiance of 5 years cheating with my neighbor. She was my best friend. Losing her ripped me in half. I ended up getting drunk, which I know wasn't the smartest thing to do, and worse drove my car into a tree. I'm not suicidal. Never even had a thought about it before. Just lost sight of who I was. I ended up moving out, lost my job and moved back home to my parents. Even though they are here for me it just made me feel like a burden. I lose myself thinking about it all. Can't concentrate on hardly anything. Hardly eat. Today my dad caught me with a can of dust cleaner. Thankfully before I did anything with it. I've never done anything like that before. Just don't know how to deal with myself. How to stop my brain or cope with how things are now. I keep battling myself and trying not to substitute how I feel or fill it in with drinking or turning to anything else. I've never been one for those things...I just don't want to feel like this anymore. I keep trying to rebuild myself, stay positive, move myself forward and when I have a thought I feel like a heavy wave comes over me, pulling me down and I can't get out from under it... Idk if this is how these things work. But I wanted to say something, vent if anything. I know others are going through these types of things, some probably even more so. Which is another reason I felt I had no room to talk or let myself open. Why should I complain when someone else is going through something worse... Idk

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