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Alverita
2,964 M Hopeful Heart 7
PathStep 1 Compassion hearts33 Forum posts6 Forum upvotes6 Current upvotes6 Age GroupAdult Last activeOctober, 2017 Member sinceApril 4, 2017
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Need help...Running out of options/solutions
Personality Disorders Support / by Alverita
Last post
 March 21st, 2018
...See more Hello there everyone, So life is extremely stressful right now. Doctor changed my meds and I don't know if they're working or not...and I don't know if it's really long enough to tell because I already messed with the dosages. Went up and went back down again. I'm not really sure how long I should wait until its that moment where we kinda give in and admit it's not wokring, I've just been drugginy myself with Clonazepam to control my urges, anger, frutration, pain, depression. You name it I've already just started counselling and each session she is going to help me through the DBT book I bought. Already seen a psychiatrist who came me absolutely no med advice even though I'm already taking them... And just insulted me and told me Iw as stupid and didn't know how to dress myself and was a complete bitch who crushed me and my self esteem. I'm only now getting that back because she is wrong..And I offended her is some way that I'm not really sure how... She got wrong impressions of me...Don't get me wrong. It's not that I disagree with her diagonsis, I just think she went too far. Said things that weren't necessary and insulted me. Told me I was stupid and incapable of understanding things that normally people wouldn't. Because of a few topics I brought up. Don't get me wrong, I don't think I"m smarter than her, I wasn't the one who went and studied my ass off in school for x amount of years, It was just drilled in my head that no one is btter than me, and I am no better than anyone else.. So she doesn't intimidate me even though I may only have a basic amount of knowledge in something she is an expert in... If anything I see it as a learning opportunity...But she wasn't willing to answer my questions or help that way...Even when I was asking her what a word meant that I didn't quite fully understand. But I'm getting over that. I realize she's wrong. I see it more as a challenge adn I've talked about it with my friends and they surely don't get those impressions from me, They know my intentions. And i've worked really hard on communicating better in those regards, I have no support right now except for one friend. My boyfriend cant even see me..Talk to me...look at me...Hell, I'm not even work a fuck I'm house sitting in a huge house that I feel confined in with three dogs I absolutely hate and I cannot control my anger outburts. I just called the crsis line but it's hard to give someone advice when tehy are already taking advantage of every resource available to try and help themselves, eh? haha. My brain is foggy. I don't know if I can even explain everything or anything right now, I'm under too much stress, My life sucks rn and I just cry and drug myself up everyday, Feel free to ask questions because I"m sure this post makes no sense I didnt' really cover many topics at all or explained mybself lol. I need help, I need support. I have none, I dont know what else to do to help myself
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