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AnemoTiger
1 1,790 M Hopeful Heart
PathStep 5 Compassion hearts142 Forum posts30 Forum upvotes36 Current upvotes36 Age GroupAdult Last activeMay, 2026 Member sinceJune 14, 2021
Bio

Yay headache

Recent forum posts
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Days clean
Self-Harm Recovery / by AnemoTiger
Last post
 May 12th
...See more I'm 65 days clean of wanting to end myself It seems like to was just yesterday, but I'm so happy
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Explosive roommate
Relationship Stress / by AnemoTiger
Last post
 May 9th
...See more I'm still not sure how to deal with my explosive roommate Everything that goes even remotely wrong in his life becomes everyone's problem Something's going wrong with his car? Boom, he makes it everyone's problem. He didn't sleep well? It's your problem now, and you better not speak..... period. He's out of vape juice and can't afford more? You bet you're gonna get yelled at, and he's gonna rage around the house until someone buys him some. He forgot to eat and his blood sugar is low? Well you better find him something to eat, because he's gonna make it your problem until you do. He wants me to move out with him, and I don't really think I want to anymore. We had originally planned on it, but due to recent issues, I've decided not too I have to take almost all my phone calls outside, because he's not above bursting into my room to yell at me if he's having a bad day, or if he doesn't like what I'm saying. He can't keep his mouth shut to save his life, and is getting kicked out at the end of the because he got into a yelling match with the landlady's kid and his girlfriend I tried to tell him I want to just move out and live on my own, as I've never done it before, and need the space to grow and flourish on my own. He tried to gaslight me into thinking I don't make enough at my medical tech job to do that. And I do make enough. He's legit upset that I'm trying to save my marriage with my wife ,who's been in an extended mental health hold since March, due to her own PTSD episode. He says I don't appreciate him enough,and that I'm insanely ungrateful,because I'm not telling all my friends,my wife and my family about every single nice thing he does for me and the household . I am extremely grateful for everything he's done for me, and make sure to.thank.him constantly, but apparently that's now enough He's allowed to yell at everyone, berate them, and tear them down, but heaven forbid they try and stand up for themselves, because if they do, they're "tone policing" him, and trying to control him I got into a fight with him a few days ago, and admittedly said some things I shouldn't have, When I went to apologize, and own up to what I did, he dragged me through the mud for every single small thing I've done wrong to him in the last week. And said I was only apologizing to get sympathy and feel better about myself . He then lit into me because no one reached out to him to see if he was ok. But he fully admits he didn't try and reach out to anyone. Everytime something goes wrong for him, he hints at suicide or says his PTSD is getting triggered. I'm not sure what to do with this man anymore. I love the guy to death as before he moved in he was an amazing friend., but I don't want him as a roommate anymore, nor do I want to be living alone with him
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Can't handle messing up at all
Anxiety Support / by AnemoTiger
Last post
 May 6th
...See more I have found recently that I'm having trouble handling messing up at all. Like I do the littlest thing wrong upset somebody on the smallest way and it absolutely shatters me. If I even perceive that I have upset someone it breaks me. Even if I haven't actually upset them. If I feel like I've been even the tiniest but inconsiderate, didn't give someone 110% of my attention, if I've even been the smallest bit centered on myself, I feel bad. I overthink every interaction, every word I say. I hate this
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Progress
Trauma Support / by AnemoTiger
Last post
 April 19th
...See more I'm about 4 weeks clean of thoughts if suicide, and thinking it would make everyone's life easier if I wasn't here I'm proud of myself and I just wanted someone to know
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Wanting a place of my own separate from here
Relationship Stress / by AnemoTiger
Last post
 April 5th
...See more So the title kinda explains it. I want a place of my own, or at least a room if my own, away from my wife, while we're working things out in our relationship We haven't spoken in almost a month and a half due to her being in an inpatient stay at the local VA, and because the court out her under a no-contact order , due to her striking our other partner during her last PTSD/mental health crisis.( The state is pressing the domestic battery charges,not us) She isn't allowed to contact me, our partner or our other roommate The last thing I heard her say to me, was to start the divorce papers, before I called the 72 hour hold on her.Even though I know almost everything she said in that moment was from a place of anger, it still hurt. She also messaged a couple of our friends, saying I betrayed her, and that I was leaving her for our partner , which I'm not. Him and I are causal at best She isn't allowed to contact me or our partner until after her trial is over, and isn't allowed back at our house if we're there He got 30 day notice recently, and has to be out by May 1st Him and I have been discussing moving out , and in with each other somewhere close to our current residency. We've discussed wanting my wife to have somewhere safe and familiar to come home to, as the other roommate is her longtime best friend, and is able to reason with her and keep her calm We've also discussed doing this so that once she's back, her and I can work things out separately, and see each other as much ,or as little as needed throughout this healing process. I also want my own room again, somewhere I can be alone if wanted. I don't have that at our other place. I want somewhere to escape to if my wife is being angry, or saying hurtful, mean things,or just wants to be alone And I want her to have her own space to escape to if she feels the same way about me. I don't want to force the interactions, just because we're gonna be living in the same place. I want them to happen naturally, because we want them to I've already written her a note explaining everything, reassuring her of my intentions, and have spoken to our other roommate/her best friend of my intentions, and he's agreed to be our neutral party, and has agreed to help when needed, as he's my friend as well, and knows this arrangement is temporary Our partner has also agreed to give her his room in whatever apartment we go into, and him and I are gonna be making our relationship into more of FWB after she gets out ,as i still want to stay married to my wife, and he respects that And the place we looked at is less than a mile from my current living situation Am I being selfish and rude for wanting my own space and place to heal on my own?
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So lost right now
Relationship Stress / by AnemoTiger
Last post
 March 27th
...See more I'm at an absolute loss right not I want to move out of the house I'm currently living in, I live with a friend of mine, my wife, our pets and our partner( we're polyamorous) The living situation is rough, and quite stressful, as my friend is also the landlady's kid, he doesn't do chores, has no job, and is lazy as ***. My partner and i have spoken about moving out with my cats, my dog, my rabbit and my snake, as we can afford it. Unfortunately, we have one problem, we ;legitimately can't contact my wife about it. She's currently in an inpatient stay at our local VA due to a mental health episode back in February, , and will be there for about another 2 and a half months. And there's currently a no contact order in place, because before she went in, she struck our partner. And even though he doesn't want to press charges, as he understands she was having an episode, our state( New Mexico) is pressing the domestic violence charges, as she struck her partner. We had to call a 72 hour hold on her, due to her being a danger to herself and our household, her threatening suicide when the cops arrived to take her to the VA, and her striking someone, From what I've heard, this no contact order was issued by the court, until her trial is over. Unfortunately we had to find this out through an extended friend, as the courts nor the police department informed any of us. Our partner received a 30 day notice from the landlady last week, and as until May 1st to move out, He's being removed due to the landlady's kid constantly whining about him, and she got tired of it and removed him to shut her kid up, The on paper reason is because he accidently busted a door frame a few weeks ago. And the landlady is looking for every reason under the sun to kick us all out, as she's tired of dealing with us and the property, and she wants to move her son closer to her, And i want to get out before she finally makes that final choice. She's been at this on and off for 5 years now, and I'm kinda just done with it and her antics. She coddles her son, but is still tough on him, and is not above taking her frustration on him out on his roommates/tenants, as she is upset at us for not motivating her son to do more. I don't think that's my responsibility, I don't want to just pull up roots , ditch the house, and have my wife come back in a few months to nothing, I do still love her very much, and she has legit abandonment issues due to some severe past trauma. I want to be able to talk to her about how I'm feeling, and let her know what's going on,. Also i don't to just leave her stuff to be taken care of by the landlady, Unfortunately. , from what I've seen from some messages she's been sending to our friends, she views me calling the 72 hold as "the ultimate betrayal'. and that it means i picked our partner over her. She is also claiming he provoked her, and said she could strike him during her episode. Which he didn't. He said she could yell at him. This was about 3 weeks ago, so some things may have changed by now. If i stay in the house when our partner moves out, I'm gonna be stuck being the live-in maid for the landlady's kid until my wife gets back, or longer , as my wife usually ends up relying on me to do most of household chores for her. due to her claiming her chronic pain is too much most days, From what I've gotten from our extended friend, my wife is doing better, might want to work things out with me, but she doesn't want to return to the house, and would want to work it out from a separate location. The problem still stands, that she hasn't spoken to me at all in over a month, has blocked me on all social media, changed her phone number, and the no contact order is still in place. i want to get out of this house so badly. I need my own space to be myself for once. And i don't want to force the conversation with my wife when she gets back. I want to give her space , and time on her own at the house to relax, and let things happen naturally. But i don't want to make her feel abandoned I want to go to counseling with her , and our partner fully supports it ,and we've even agreed to split for the sake of my marriage, if that's what it comes to I'm at a complete loss on what to do right now,
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Feeling lost on what to do
General Support / by AnemoTiger
Last post
 March 26th
...See more Im feeling so lost and stuck on how to handle my current situation I want to move out of the house I'm currently living in, I live with a friend of mine, my wife, our pets and our partner( we're polyamorous) The living situation is rough, and quite stressful, as my friend is also the landlady's kid, he doesn't do chores, has no job, and is lazy as ***. My partner and i have spoken about moving out with my cats, my dog, my rabbit and my snake, as we can afford it. Unfortunately, we have one problem, we ;legitimately can't contact my wife about it. She's currently in an inpatient stay at our local VA due to a mental health episode back in February, , and will be there for about another 2 and a half months. And there's currently a no contact order in place, because before she went in, she struck our partner. And even though he doesn't want to press charges, as he understands she was having an episode, our state( New Mexico) is pressing the domestic violence charges, as she struck her partner. We had to call a 72 hour hold on her, due to her being a danger to herself and our household, her threatening suicide when the cops arrived to take her to the VA, and her striking someone, From what I've heard, this no contact order was issued by the court, until her trial is over. Unfortunately we had to find this out through an extended friend, as the courts nor the police department informed any of us. Our partner received a 30 day notice from the landlady last week, and has until May 1st to move out, He's being removed due to the landlady's kid constantly whining about him, and she got tired of it and removed him to shut her kid up, The on paper reason is because he accidently busted a door frame a few weeks ago. And the landlady is looking for every reason under the sun to kick us all out, as she's tired of dealing with us and the property, and she wants to move her son closer to her, And i want to get out before she finally makes that final choice. She's been at this on and off for 5 years now, and I'm kinda just done with it and her antics. She coddles her son, but is still tough on him, and is not above taking her frustration on him out on his roommates/tenants, as she is upset at us for not motivating her son to do more. I don't think that's my responsibility, I don't want to just pull up roots , ditch the house, and have my wife come back in a few months to nothing, I do still love her very much, and she has legit abandonment issues due to some severe past trauma. I want to be able to talk to her about how I'm feeling, and let her know what's going on,. Also i don't to just leave her stuff to be taken care of by the landlady, Unfortunately. , from what I've seen from some messages she's been sending to our friends, she views me calling the 72 hold as "the ultimate betrayal'. and that it means i picked our partner over her. She is also claiming he provoked her, and said she could strike him during her episode. Which he didn't. He said she could yell at him. This was about 3 weeks ago, so some things may have changed by now. If i stay in the house when our partner moves out, I'm gonna be stuck being the live-in maid for the landlady's kid until my wife gets back, or longer , as my wife usually ends up relying on me to do most of household chores for her. due to her claiming her chronic pain is too much most days, From what I've gotten from our extended friend, my wife is doing better, might want to work things out with me, but she doesn't want to return to the house, and would want to work it out from a separate location. The problem still stands, that she hasn't spoken to me at all in over a month, has blocked me on all social media, changed her phone number, and the no contact order is still in place. i want to get out of this house so badly. I need my own space to be myself for once. I feel trapped , and am on the verge of screaming at our roommate And i don't want to force the conversation with my wife when she gets back. I want to give her space , and time on her own at the house to relax, and let things happen naturally. But i don't want to make her feel abandoned I want to go to counseling with her , and our partner fully supports it ,and we've even agreed to split for the sake of my marriage, if that's what needs to happen I'm at a complete loss on what to do right now,
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Resisted the urges of desperation
Positivity & Gratitude / by AnemoTiger
Last post
 August 26th, 2021
...See more Hey all, I'm Ashh. Recently, I turned down an old flame who was hinting at a relationship. I'm proud of myself, because since I'm fresh out of a long relationship, and so.is she, I realised that if I did anything with her right now,I'd just be rebounding and I dont want that for me,or for her. I didnt give into my desperation right there. If I did anything right now, it would show that my last gf meant nothing to me. Also my last gf and I have made an agreement to possibly try again one day.
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