AngelesCrestHighway Member Profile

...See more I've lived my whole childhood, adolescence, and current life alone. I don't mean having a few friends or getting rejected, i mean no friends at all, and almost never talking to anyone to even get rejected, let alone accepted. This is my oldest problem, and the source of every struggle I've ever been through. I briefly had a group of friends at some point, like any normal person, until I unsurprisingly lost them. Not to mention all of those electroshock "therapy" sessions I had to take, which wiped my memories and made me lose my *** identity. Every time I look at my messages with those old friends, I can't believe they were sent by me, I used to be so fun unlike this empty piece of *** I call myself. I lost the one thing that could've made it easier for me to get along with people. I've tried just "being myself" with others and i always ended up feeling like a *** embarrassment. It feels like I'll have to stay like this forever, i know it doesn't have to be like that, but it's hard to keep a good mindset when I've been "living" through this *** for as long as I can remember. I'm not even suicidal (surprise surprise) but I find myself constantly wishing this all would end. My head never stops replaying my regrets and humiliating me with reminders of how much of a pathetic sack of *** I am. And it hurts when I hear someone say "I hate people so much, I wish I was alone!" give my life a *** shot then. Try living with these feelings for a while and see if you really think you're better off without people.

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