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AngelwithaPen412
1,498 M Little Steps 5
PathStep 6 Compassion hearts22 Forum posts5 Forum upvotes7 Current upvotes7 Age GroupAdult Last activeDecember, 2023 Member sinceOctober 25, 2019
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Handling Jealously Towards Siblings
Family & Caregivers / by AngelwithaPen412
Last post
 July 29th, 2021
...See more I come from a family of six. I have three brothers and there's three years between my youngest brother and my oldest brother. Recently, one of my brothers and I had a discussion with our parents about our talents, natural gifts and personalities. The discussion brought up some pretty intense jealousy in me. My brothers are much more charismatic than I am and have a way of lighting up a room the moment they enter it. Everyone's eyes turn towards them and they are instantly remembered by others. They've succeeded in ways that I've struggled to achieve. They made it into the the top musical groups at school on their first try while I had to struggle and audition multiple times to get in, they've won athletic competitions while I'm usually on the sidelines and gotten leads in shows while I've always been one of the few who got cut. I'm proud of my brothers and their accomplishments. I love them deeply and want to see them succeed and I know they work hard for their achievments. But, even now, it seems like they're heading for greatness while I'm just there. One is going to become a mechanical engineer and pursue his dreams in whatever industry he wants, one is striving to make it to Broadway and one is getting ready to go to trade school to learn how to work with machines to pursue any job he could ever want. Me? I'm going to be a teacher. I'm also trying to pursue writing fiction, but that's had little success too. I do love the path I've chosen, but it feels so small compared to what they've chosen. My parents say that we're just equipped for different roles, that we each have our gifts and mine are just more behind-the-scenes, but no less important. I understand the importance of the different 'behind-the-scenes' roles, but it's hard not to equate it with invisible. My brothers all shine in the spotlight and I've yet to find mine. I'm not sure what to do with this jealousy. I want it to go away and feel the same contentment, and even elation for the path I'm on that I had when I chose it and when I talk about it with friends, but it all fades when I think about where my brothers are heading.
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Emotionally Abused
Relationship Stress / by AngelwithaPen412
Last post
 December 16th, 2019
...See more So, my name's Angel. I had a best friend. We knew each other since we were 6. We were two peas in a pod. Things went downhill when we hit middle school. We started going different directions in life, but I guess she didn't like it. She became incredibly manipulative, making me demean myself and sacrifice my self-esteem for her, making me keep secrets from my family and trying to control the people I let into my life. She also made me feel worthless for having my own beliefs. She would debate at me about my religion, basically ranting about how it was wrong and out me for my beliefs to other people. I could never give enough or be a good enough friend for her. Something else was the cause of all her problems and if I dared to disagree with her it was a constant stream of how I was a terrible and worthless friend. This was my life for five years. It's been almost a year since I ended our friendship.It did not end quietly or stress free. Since then I've been having anxiety issues and problems with letting go of the bottled up emotions I have as well as struggling to open up to my family. Has anyone else had a friendship go so terribly wrong?
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