Handling Jealously Towards Siblings
I come from a family of six. I have three brothers and there's three years between my youngest brother and my oldest brother. Recently, one of my brothers and I had a discussion with our parents about our talents, natural gifts and personalities. The discussion brought up some pretty intense jealousy in me. My brothers are much more charismatic than I am and have a way of lighting up a room the moment they enter it. Everyone's eyes turn towards them and they are instantly remembered by others. They've succeeded in ways that I've struggled to achieve. They made it into the the top musical groups at school on their first try while I had to struggle and audition multiple times to get in, they've won athletic competitions while I'm usually on the sidelines and gotten leads in shows while I've always been one of the few who got cut.
I'm proud of my brothers and their accomplishments. I love them deeply and want to see them succeed and I know they work hard for their achievments. But, even now, it seems like they're heading for greatness while I'm just there. One is going to become a mechanical engineer and pursue his dreams in whatever industry he wants, one is striving to make it to Broadway and one is getting ready to go to trade school to learn how to work with machines to pursue any job he could ever want. Me? I'm going to be a teacher. I'm also trying to pursue writing fiction, but that's had little success too. I do love the path I've chosen, but it feels so small compared to what they've chosen.
My parents say that we're just equipped for different roles, that we each have our gifts and mine are just more behind-the-scenes, but no less important. I understand the importance of the different 'behind-the-scenes' roles, but it's hard not to equate it with invisible. My brothers all shine in the spotlight and I've yet to find mine.
I'm not sure what to do with this jealousy. I want it to go away and feel the same contentment, and even elation for the path I'm on that I had when I chose it and when I talk about it with friends, but it all fades when I think about where my brothers are heading.
I used to have the same problem and the solution I took were self-reflecting and challenging my own belief. For example, when you’re jealous with your brother when comparing profession, try to understand why you think his is better than yours? Study your feelings and get to know why are you have such feelings?