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AnonymityKeyForMe
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PathStep 1 Compassion hearts11 Forum posts9 Forum upvotes12 Current upvotes12 Age GroupAdult Last activeJune, 2022 Member sinceJune 22, 2021
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It keeps coming back
Trauma Support / by AnonymityKeyForMe
Last post
 July 3rd, 2021
...See more Hi, I am Aryan, and My username is anonymous because I don't feel comfortable saying this to anyone. Since, I'm in this thread of messages, you know why I'm here. So, my story starts when I was 3 years old, and I'm currently 16. I had continuous incidents of sexual abuse, why do I like to frame it like that is because it was basically child rape. My parents knew about one person who was very close to me, and helped me through it when it happened, but as soon as it ended, when I was 10, they completely stopped talking about it, was it because it was too awkward or did they think it didn't affect me, I'll never know. I'm 16 now, went through a very tough period in 2017 (I was 12 then), and all everyone seemed to think was that my grades dropped and how my behavior changed. Not a single conversation about if I was okay. I know this might seem weird to say, but as someone who identifies as male, I find it very difficult to talk to anyone. My own family members find it 'weird' if I'm emotional or close to crying, at such an extent that I often just let everything out with the room closed. There is nowhere I've seen awareness about male abuse. If I tell anyone about what happened, will they find me delusional, I don't even know anything anymore. I'm preparing for college, and am doing a lot of things simultaneously because Extracurriculars. I have random lapses of being very passionate about what I'm doing, to moments where I don't care about anything anymore. I'm not very good in social settings, not professional, and downright awkward in person. I hope I can feel something through whatever it is I'm trying to accomplish here on this platform
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