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Anxiousbean2310
623 M Embraced 5
PathStep 45 Compassion hearts16 Forum posts9 Forum upvotes7 Current upvotes7 Age GroupAdult Last activeJanuary, 2020 Member sinceOctober 31, 2019
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Broke up and trying to be friends
Relationship Stress / by Anxiousbean2310
Last post
 December 29th, 2019
...See more Hii, so my boyfriend of six months broke up with me like a week ago and we've been trying to be friends ever since and we have some good times and it's fun but it's also really challenging for me because I still love him like a crazy amount and I haven't been able to let go of these feelings even the tiniest bit. I miss the times of us dating and it was really good for like the entire part except the last month things had started going downhill. It still hurts a lot to think about and I'm trying not to and just be friends but I can't help it. I still love him a lot and it hurts when I even have a feeling that he's already getting some other girl or something and has just moved on really easily, which I know isn't the case but I'm super paranoid about it and I just don't know what to do. I'm scared to go through life without him by my side as my boyfriend honestly.
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Didn't give enough space
Relationship Stress / by Anxiousbean2310
Last post
 September 12th, 2020
...See more (Realized I posted this in the wrong subcategory, my bad) Hi, so my boyfriend of 6 months broke up with me this past Friday. He'd been having a tough time with me and my anxiety lately seeing as how I've been more insecure and had been doubting him more lately, because a little over a month ago he had some fear of commitment for just one evening but after talking about it he said he was gonna ignore it and push it away because he wanted to be with me. I thought I had moved past it, but I've only today realized how much more insecure it had actually made me about our relationship and thanks to this I was rarely ever able to give him space again, and this got too much for him. All he wanted was an hour-2 hours to clear his head by watching netflix or something before bed, he'd still always wish me goodnight when he went to bed and we still spend the same amount of time as always together and he'd been asking the same space to clear his head during the whole relationship, but thanks to what happened I just desperately clung onto him and ended up pushing him further and further away. I feel so awful for what happened, and I didn't even realize I was doing all this until it was too late. We're keeping some distance right now until we meet up again after the holidays to finish everything up in person and give each other some stuff back, both for him to be able to have his peace and for me to recover a bit.
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Break up
Relationship Stress / by Anxiousbean2310
Last post
 September 12th, 2020
...See more Hi, so my boyfriend of 6 months broke up with me this past Friday. He'd been having a tough time with me and my anxiety lately seeing as how I've been more insecure and had been doubting him more lately, because a little over a month ago he had some fear of commitment for just one evening but after talking about it he said he was gonna ignore it and push it away because he wanted to be with me. I thought I had moved past it, but I've only today realized how much more insecure it had actually made me about our relationship and thanks to this I was rarely ever able to give him space again, and this got too much for him. All he wanted was an hour-2 hours to clear his head by watching netflix or something before bed, he'd still always wish me goodnight when he went to bed and we still spend the same amount of time as always together and he'd been asking the same space to clear his head during the whole relationship, but thanks to what happened I just desperately clung onto him and ended up pushing him further and further away. I feel so awful for what happened, and I didn't even realize I was doing all this until it was too late. We're keeping some distance right now until we meet up again after the holidays to finish everything up in person and give each other some stuff back, both for him to be able to have his peace and for me to recover a bit.
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Break up
Anxiety Support / by Anxiousbean2310
Last post
 December 22nd, 2019
...See more My boyfriend of 6 months broke up with me yesterday. We've been having a bit of a hard time recently. I've made some progress in my anxiety when it comes to relationships but I've still had a lot of doubts and insecurities and it's made my boyfriend feel like he had to defend himself almost all of the time. Because of this he also has always needed some space in the evenings, like an hour or 2 to just watch a show for himself, and I've been failing in giving him that. He's always been the sweetest and most understanding and most patient with everything, but this past month things just got too overwhelming because I didn't give him the time and space he needed for himself. TRIGGER WARNING FOR THOUGHTS OF SUICIDE FROM HERE ON OUT I feel so terrible and I just want him back. I feel no more reason to foght for anything anymore. Everything feels pointless now. He's been such an amazing help and support and motivation and I've come such a long way with my anxiety and insecurities while I was with him and now that I don't have him anymore I've just lost all will to keep going and keep trying. Last night I drank too much alcohol and took 4 sleeping pills in the actual hope not to wake up anymore but clearly, I did. I feel lost and overwhelmed and nothing seems to be making me feel better. I just want this pain to end and be happy with him again.
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