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Asphyxiant
197 M Embraced 1
PathStep 2 Compassion hearts10 Forum posts3 Forum upvotes4 Current upvotes4 Age GroupAdult Last activeDecember, 2017 Member sinceNovember 16, 2017
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Walking through fog
Personality Disorders Support / by Asphyxiant
Last post
 December 12th, 2017
...See more I feel like I'm walking through fog. My BPD is at an all time bad and I'm scared I'm going to lose the only person I have left; my boyfriend. My medication is making me a zombie. I can't think straight. I'm angry then I'm sad then I'm empty. After 10 years of therapy and being treated for depression, this year in May I was finally diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder. Although it has clarified why I do some things, I still have no control. I feel like I'm in the backseat and someone else is controlling my life. I was supposed to start DBT but I haven't heard back from the programme. I hallucinated for the first time a few days ago. It was so bad and so scary. I feel like I've gone crazy and this is the end for me. How do I get out of this? Is there anyone like me out there or am I really all alone? Will I ever be normal? Will I ever be able to laugh when something is funny and cry when something is sad or am I condemmed to feel every intense emotion all the time and not be able to escape drowning in my feelings. Will I ever just be OK?
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