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BabyBlueFox
1,981 M Hopeful Heart 2
PathStep 6 Compassion hearts55 Forum posts1 Forum upvotes7 Current upvotes7 Age GroupAdult Last activeNovember, 2023 Member sinceFebruary 6, 2019
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Should I attempt being friends or let it all go...
Relationship Stress / by BabyBlueFox
Last post
February 9th, 2023
...See more I've (28F) been in a very toxic, unhealthy, and at times abusive relationship. We split up (I initiated the breakup) again hopefully for the last time but I left the option of friends on the table. He (30M) said he wanted to at least be friends but constantly crosses boundaries. Expects me to check in and let him know where I'm going and when, call and text all the time, see him regularly throughout the week, didn't respect when I ask him not to touch me/grab at me, still wants to be very touchy feely, always questions where I am, who I'm with, who I'm talking to, if I'm talking about him, says I'm not allowed to talk to his friends (who I have become close with after a year and a half). Overall, it's just a lot and very controlling (at least i feel like it's controlling, he says it's all concern). Well a lot of this came to a head Saturday night and we got into a massive fight and he ended up telling me he can't respect my boundaries because he still loves me and misses me. He got very erratic and made me feel very unsafe (I'm glossing over details because there was a lot that happened). I Sunday I did not speak to him at all because I was still highly upset at everything that happened on Saturday. On a normal day to day basis, I do enjoy talking to him the majority of the time we talk. We agree on a lot of things, have similar viewpoints, and usually the conversations are good. We both like watching our shows together and going to dinner and seeing new movies. There's a lot that is good from a friendship standpoint, but the rest puts a heavy strain on me and causes a lot of stress. And at this point I don't know if it's even worth trying to patch things up to be friends. As of this post, we are not speaking and he has not responded to my message. I really do not know what the best move is from here and would really appreciate anyone who is willing to talk through some of this with me.
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