BabyLionNala Member Profile

...See more My sister-in-law is really hurting my feelings. I take accountability for wanting different things out of my relationship with her than she did. I understand that she already has a biological sister, and another in-law sister, so she had no need for another girl coming in. I remember as a kid I was at Girl Scouts sitting alone watching sisters do things together, and the troupe leader said to me, “Sometimes we get out sisters later in life.” I held onto that for the rest of my life. But, now after the experience I had, I don’t want to keep hoping for that. Every Christmas and Birthday, my sister-in-law excludes me, and then says something like, I wish I got you something, you’re so cute. The Christmas gifts we get her are geared at both her and her husband. The Christmas gifts she gets us are geared entirely at my husband like male clothes. She gets the other sister-in-law fun soaps and teas, and for her biological sister she spends around a thousand. I have made mentions to her that I love soaps and teas too, but she never remembers. She also never acknowledges my birthday. I don’t need her to buy me a present, I would just appreciate a nice short text. My birthday is a month before hers so because she does nothing, I do nothing for hers. Based on Christmas, I don’t think it would make a difference if I did. When she got married, she told me I was going to be in her bridal party, and then she just dropped me. She had only her sister and other sister-in-law. She kept saying to me no matter what I do, I’ll never be family, so I didn’t belong in her bridal party with her “real sisters.” I asked her what I did wrong, and she told me I’m great, I'm just not real family. I have asked the people closest to her if there’s anything I did wrong that she’s holding back on telling me, and they said she’s upset that she’s not the number one girl in her favorite brother’s life anymore. That made me very upset because I bent over backwards making sure they got tons of time together without me there. How I have been handling this is avoiding her. When she comes into the room, I walk out of the room. My husband says this behavior is hurting her feelings, and that I can’t treat family like that. He says I need to be the bigger person because I’m capable of it. He always tells me how she treats me is absolutely wrong and he’s so sorry it has to be so bad. It has been very hard on him to watch her treat me like this, and he has stood up for me, but she isn’t receptive. He always says she’s not capable right now. I am just so sad and angry though that I want her to live with the consequences of how she treated me. How do I handle this? If it matters, she’s thirty, I’m ten years younger.

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