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Battyboop834
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PathStep 1 Compassion hearts10 Forum posts3 Forum upvotes3 Current upvotes3 Age GroupAdult Last activeOctober, 2021 Member sinceOctober 24, 2021
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Why won't my partner believe I'm confused during arguments due to my anxiety
7 Cups Online Therapy / by Battyboop834
Last post
 October 25th, 2021
...See more have anxiety and ptsd because of past abusive relationships . I don't know how to make my current partner understand that when I am put on the spot about things even if they seem simple or asked to recount exactly how I remember something that I don't always remember details that my anxiety immediately shoots up because I am used to being gaslighted . he is also a trauma survivor and survivor of a narcissist, he recently has started having major trust issues so our relationship has been delicate . But when my partner tells me I'm talking in circles back peddling or accuses me of lying when I say I'm confused it only makes my anxiety worse and gives me no sense of being safe at all . He has anxiety disorder to so simple questions and arguments often spin out of control but lately it's a lot of him telling me that I am the problem and it makes my worse . a example : last night I left one of my pill bottles in the cabinet the kids could reach it . I check every night before I go to bed that my pill bottles are put up out of reach . It was not time for my nightly check yet . It was early in the eve . What happened : early in the eve I took my meds but I needed some food first - so I didn't take one of them I put that pill bottle in a drawer that my nighttime skin care stuff is on because I knew I'd remember it there . I checked several times to make sure it was still there . Sometime that eve I must have picked it up and absent Minded sat it in the cabinet . I don't remember doing this . My partner found it there . The convo went like this him: is this your pill bottle I found it in the cabinet me : anxiety super spinning up already : oh wow I don't know how that got there , I had it in the drawer - takes him in bathroom ans shows him drawe him: so you are telling me you don't remember how it got there me: pauses to think and collect myself like my therapists have advised : I might have had it in my hand and forgot and sat it down when I brushed my teeth earlier . I had been keeping a eye on it in the drawer , but might have forger and sat it in the cabinet when I brushed my teeth . Regardless as you know o would have checked al areas and put it out of reach by the end of the night after I took it . I always do . I just needed food before I took it so I put it in the drawer so I would notice it later . him: so you are saying you didn't put it in the cabinet or you don't remember ? I didn't ask about the drawer . me: I probably put in the cabinet when I brushed mu teeth and looked for toothpaste . It was a accident I'm sorry and I would have put it up later anyways . I always check for my meds to be in the right spot . It was in the drawer so it was a total accdownt I moved it . him : so your saying you put it there on purpose ? me: no I put it I the drawer . hom : you just said you put it in the cabinet when you rushed your teeth but when I first asked you you said you don't know how it got there . You are talking in circles ans backpeddlibg . you can't expect me to believe you were confused about it . How can you lie and gaslight me and say this toxic horseshit I just want a straight answer . You can't expect me to believe that you honestly forgot ? Your not stupid . me: no I simply had to take a second to think . I genuinely didn't t know how it got there when you asked me . But I took a second to let my anxiety calm down and then conflicted it must have gotten out there when I went to brush my teeth . It was absentminded and I am sorry and I am not denying I did it . I am sorry and I understand that it's a boundary to not leave our meds laying around with the kids . I would have noticed it before bed . I am sorry . him: I can't believe your sorrys I am so tired of you asking me to accept your confusion as a excuse . I know you don't really get confused . then he asked me to leave the house and give him thirty mins . Then he again texted me saying it was a excuse that I'm not dumb and that I couldn't expect my therapist to look at this convo and see anything but me backpeddling and gaslighting him . :/ what do I do ? I legit have major confusion and memory loss when my anxiety spins up .
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My partner always thinks I'm lying because my anxiety disorder effects my memory
Anxiety Support / by Battyboop834
Last post
 October 25th, 2021
...See more I have anxiety and ptsd because of past abusive relationships . I don't know how to make my current partner understand that when I am put on the spot about things even if they seem simple or asked to recount exactly how I remember something that I don't always remember details that my anxiety immediately shoots up because I am used to being gaslighted . That when my partner tells me I'm talking in circles back peddling or accuses me of lying when I say I'm confused it only makes my anxiety worse and gives me no sense of being safe at all . He has anxiety disorder to so simple questions and arguments often spin out of control but lately it's a lot of him telling me that I am the problem and it makes my worse . a example : last night I left one of my pill bottles in the cabinet where the kids could reach it . I check every night before I go to bed that my pill bottles are put up out of reach . It was not time for my nightly check yet . It was early in the eve . What happened : early in the eve I took my meds but I needed some food first - so I didn't take one of them I put that pill bottle in a drawer that my nighttime skin care stuff is on because I knew I'd remember it there . I checked several times to make sure it was still there . Sometime that eve I must have picked it up and absent Minded sat it in the cabinet . I don't remember doing this . My partner found it there . The convo went like this him: is this your pill bottle I found it in the cabinet me : anxiety super spinning up already : oh wow I don't know how that got there , I had it in the drawer - takes him in bathroom ans shows him drawe him: so you are telling me you don't remember how it got there me: pauses to think and collect myself like my therapists have advised : I might have had it in my hand and forgot and sat it down when I brushed my teeth earlier . I had been keeping a eye on it in the drawer , but might have forger and sat it in the cabinet when I brushed my teeth . Regardless as you know o would have checked al areas and put it out of reach by the end of the night after I took it . I always do . I just needed food before I took it so I put it in the drawer so I would notice it later . him: so you are saying you didn't put it in the cabinet or you don't remember ? I didn't ask about the drawer . me: I probably put in the cabinet when I brushed mu teeth and looked for toothpaste . It was a accident I'm sorry and I would have put it up later anyways . I always check for my meds to be in the right spot . It was in the drawer so it was a total accdownt I moved it . him : so your saying you put it there on purpose ? me: no I put it I the drawer . hom : you just said you put it in the cabinet when you rushed your teeth but when I first asked you you said you don't know how it got there . You are talking in circles ans backpeddlibg . you can't expect me to believe you were confused about it . How can you lie and gaslight me and say this toxic horseshit I just want a straight answer . You can't expect me to believe that you honestly forgot ? Your not stupid . me: no I simply had to take a second to think . I genuinely didn't t know how it got there when you asked me . But I took a second to let my anxiety calm down and then conflicted it must have gotten out there when I went to brush my teeth . It was absentminded and I am sorry and I am not denying I did it . I am sorry and I understand that it's a boundary to not leave our meds laying around with the kids . I would have noticed it before bed . I am sorry . him: I can't believe your sorrys I am so tired of you asking me to accept your confusion as a excuse . I know you don't really get confused . then he asked me to leave the house and give him thirty mins . Then he again texted me saying it was a excuse that I'm not dumb and that I couldn't expect my therapist to look at this convo and see anything but me backpeddling and gaslighting him . :/ what do I do ? I legit have major confusion and memory loss when my anxiety spins up .
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