Welcome Home! Come Sit by the Fire

I took my Dad to Ireland for a bucket list trip.

Our goal was to learn more about our ancestors. We had some info from Ancestry.com, but were pretty much just winging it.

We go to hike the Gap of Dunloe. They have a big map that says “you are here” and we notice a little shop/restaurant called “Moriarty’s” a mile or so away. We are like no way! We do the hike and then go to the shop. I walk in and say I’m a Moriarty. Are there any Moriarty’s here?

The person behind the desk says Con Moriarty is here. He is a historian and loves to connect with other Moriartys. Let me see if he is free. We talk with him for an hour and then he invites us to his home, gives us a couple of books, and points us to the town where our family came from. 

We head out for Castlegregory the next day—the town Con pointed us to, where my great grandfather was likely baptised and where my people are buried. We grab a coffee and share with the person that we are here to do some ancestral research. The person in the coffee shop said oh, there is a Moriarty next door working in the pharmacy!

Then we found the graveyard. Here's a pic. 12% of the names were Moriartys.

I was interested in our ancestry from when I was a young teen. My father didn’t really want to talk too much about it, because his parents were not the best parents. He almost died as a kid a few times, had to steal food from the grocery store for his younger sister etc. I mean not good at all. Understandably, this kind of work brought up some uncomfortable things for him.

What I hadn’t realized prior to the trip was that there was a metaphorical big steel wall that was in my lineage or family history. I wasn’t even aware that I was reaching back for a sense of understanding, purpose, or meaning.

When we met Conn and talked with him, I felt like he welcomed me in. He stopped by the place we were staying and said things like “I keep thinking of you guys.” He highlighted how the Irish people that stayed in Ireland had a deep sense of loss, a gap in the social fabric, from all the daughters and sons that emigrated. And, when we come back home, they have a deep desire to connect because it allows them to heal and bridge things from their side.

Some of you know that I’m a pretty simple guy. I spend a lot of time in prayer, meditation etc. I’m kind of a monk. Conn understood that about me. He was that way himself and he shared other Moriarty’s in history who he felt were more like us.

These discussions were a visceral experience to me. We share the same last name, but are very likely not related. Still, there was a sort of spiritual connection. It allowed me to open a new road or path into my ancestral past. The steel wall or cul-de-sac that stopped at my grandfather was not the only path I had. Now I had a new path and I could feel the connection from me to Conn to the past to other Moriarty’s that were likely more monastic, like me.

I struggled with a way to capture this. It felt like I had 4 empty chambers (or 4 connected rooms) behind me. I wasn’t even aware they were there before. Then each one had a fire in the chamber and a sort of continuous flame that passed through all of them. I felt my ancestry was healing. I've been working on this for decades and could feel some doors open that had been shut. 

I've been marinating on this experience for the last month. The more I sit with it the more I think of us and what we are building at 7 Cups. This isn't about the trip to Ireland. It is about sharing my past, finding a stranger and him welcoming me in. 

We refer to ourselves as a community. Sometimes people call us a tribe. There are other times that we’ve been described as a big family.

Many of you have written to me over the years. You have shared this deep sense of connection, belonging, and like hey I might be unusual, but I’m not alone! I’ve found my people.

I want to extend what Conn did for me to all of you. I’d like 7 Cups to be a place where any that are searching can find a deep sense of connection, belonging, and lineage. We are not related - just like I was not related to Conn - but we share a love for compassion, connection, and courage.

Con didn't welcome me because I had it figured out. He made room for me while I was searching. I want to pass this same welcome to you. If you are not sure you’ve found your home yet in this world, then I invite you into my home. Please sit by the fire. I’m glad you found us and I’m very glad we found you!