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BeengBonk
1 152 M Embraced 1
PathStep 1 Compassion hearts11 Forum posts5 Forum upvotes1 Current upvotes1 Age GroupAdult Last activeSeptember, 2022 Member sinceJuly 31, 2022
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Hoping im pregnant for benefits
Relationship Stress / by BeengBonk
Last post
 August 7th, 2022
...See more I am secretly hoping that im pregnant. But only for my benefit, im living at my grandparents place and sleeping on the couch, the house is old and alot of faulty things, no basic appliances like water heater, stove, washing machine etc. I feel sad that my grandparents live like this, i truely didnt expect it to be like this however i dont have the money to make any changes for them now. Im just just hoping that im pregnant so that my bf and i can get a house tgt, it is easier to get housing if you are with a child or getting married. Renting is way out of our budget now. I know that raising a baby is expensive and that shouldnt be a reason to bring someone to life. But it could really help us. I feel so guilty and selfish typing this out, to just have a baby purely for my own benefit.
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Dependant on my bf
Relationship Stress / by BeengBonk
Last post
 August 8th, 2022
...See more I lived with my boyfriend for almost a year and now forced to live separately due to circumstances. Whenever we are apart, i feel so anxious that he will leave me even after spending the whole day together. I feel so toxic that when i see him online but doesnt text me, and when i send a text, i count how long he takes to respond and during that time i overthink even though i know he is busy working and have other ppl in his life. However for me, i dont have my own clique of friends anymore and i get jealous when i see him texting in his groupchat. And when he tells me he has plans to hangout with i do get jealous he has a life outside of me. I just cant help it, hes been there for me at my lowest and i clung onto him for everything. Which is so toxic for the both of us. I try very hard to not do what im doing but i cant help it especially now that we live apart. I just spend my days overthinking about him. This is not healthy for me and my relationship and im trying so hard not to do it.
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Bf mother issues, R/s issues
Relationship Stress / by BeengBonk
Last post
 August 7th, 2022
...See more I have lost good friends along the way while i got in a relationship with my boyfriend. Now i might lose him too. He says he plays games to cope with his own stress but he doesnt share them with me to the point where i sleep alone most nights while he stays up playing. He goes to sleep in the morning when i wake up to go to work and we barely talk throughout the day. I send him texts while im at work but then he is sleeping so i dont get replies. I end my work at 11pm and reach home around 1am and by the time im too tired to do anything else. But at night is the time that he is awake so i will stay up n have supper with him till 3am and wake up at 9am to go to work again. I understand that he has school n wants to use his free time to play at night and catch some sleep in the morning. But its to the point where we dont really go out on dates anymore, either he has school on my off days or we are both too tired to go out. Its the same routine each week and sometimes i feel like he only comes to me and be cutesy and touchy and then we have sex but after we did it, he goes back to playing games. I have been staying with my boyfriend and his mom for almost a year. Recently, his mom went to a fortune teller to ask why some of her stuff go missing. And the answer was, someone at home not happy for doing laundry and decided to throw or steal her things. Since then she has been glaring and slamming doors and talking very rudely whenever im around. And each week more items go missing such as deodorant, makeup or documents, which doesnt make any sense because im rarely home and i dont touch stuff in the house unless to do laundry or cook or clean. Since im the only other person doing laundry, the blame automatically falls on me. And the final straw was when $500 goes missing. Today she finally texted me telling to move out of the house asap and she dont want to see my face anymore and blames me for her missing things. What hurt me most was when, i packed my clothes and stuff, my bf just sat at his computer table and went on as if nth is wrong. And i had so much stuff to carry and i returned the house key, after i put all my stuff outside the house i told him to lock the door. He got up, closed the door on me and locked without saying anything to me. I felt so ashamed and disrespected. If your gf is getting kicked out, will you just stand there and watch then proceed to lock the door on her. Plus point, on national gf day, i woke up and saw my bf sleeping in his gaming chair and went to wake him up so he can sleep on the bed but then i saw his twitter account open and huge b00bs showing on the screen. When i shake him to wake up, he quickly close his acc and brought his phone to bed n slept. Me seeing that those b00bs are not mine, got curious and opened his twitter. Worst decision ever actually. It was a secret account filled with sexy pretty girls in lingerie or cosplay. And following over 600+ accounts. I check the dms and he sent dick pics to 2 diff accounts and with a message saying “daddy wants to shove his c0ck down your throat”. And it was on 21july which is very recent. I confronted him and said he sent those pics and message and still have the cheek to tell me he loves me. And his reply? Its okay to send nudes to other people even while you are in a relationship because he thinks it is harmless flirting and not considered cheating. And hinted that i am not enough or interesting enough to keep his attention on me that he needs to find the excitement from strangers. That was what hurt me the most. 2 in 1 kill on national gf day. But he have not talked about breaking up or staying together. I dont have the mental capacity to talk. His mom hates me for smth i never did and my bf sends nudes to other ppl all the while in a relationship with me. If you read this far, Thank you so much. I am really stuck and i dont know what to do next.
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