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BinkyRed246
203 M Embraced 2
PathStep 4 Compassion hearts13 Forum posts2 Forum upvotes2 Current upvotes2 Age GroupAdult Last activeMay, 2024 Member sinceMay 17, 2024
Bio

❤️❤️Hi beautiful souls!❤️❤️

My name's Alysia, I'm 21 yrs old!

She/Her

I don't really have nicknames, but feel free to call me whatever you're comfortable with!

I'm very spiritual and I love nature

My hobbies include but aren't limited to: Drawing, singing, playing video games, socializing, animals 🥰 and many other things.

Feel free to chat whenever! I may not be a professional, but I love listening to people when I can.


A little more understanding of why I'm here:

Im here because I've lost myself, and I'm not entirely sure why I have yet. Being in a relationship with someone who's struggling with the same things I am, I don't want to blame it on my relationship immediately. I'm always seeking knowledge, I'm always wanting to be the best of what I can without changing who I am. Trauma and relationships have damaged me, but I have healed part of me. And now the rest wants to to heal as well. Whatever reason anyone is on here, I hope you find peace it in.


Thank you for staying and reading! You are loved, and you are important, because you are here right here, right now. You have a purpose love, finding it is the journey. ❤️

Recent forum posts
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Break up, stay?
Relationship Stress / by BinkyRed246
Last post
 May 23rd, 2024
...See more Okay everyone, please bare with me. So for background information, my bf and I have been dating for about almost two years. Up until the beginning of this year, I was so committed to this relationship. I found out he was paying for only fans girls, which I wouldn't have cared for, because they're just $5 subscriptions. But it felt like cheating because he hid it from me. And instead of being open to me about it he wasn't. And spending money on other women kinda set me off too. So of course, I think it's natural, that I felt awful. I felt self conscious, especially when they didn't have the same body type as me, or had features I didn't have. Because if that I became extra clingy and needy. I quite literally wish I could live for this man. But I want getting the attention I wanted. (And to cross out the idea he would cheat on me he really wouldn't 💀 I've been snoopy and have gone through his phone and computer several times after the only fans, which is toxic but I mean, do you blame me after that 😭) But just to be clear, I don't NOT support him. He's a bit of a corn addict. Which is fine, I've kinda just accept men are more sexually active and need more of that. Which is cool, whatever. But if course I sought more attention, and slept with his friend. Wasn't worth it one bit, because I was used in the process. We won't even go down that loop right now. But then he started subscribing again. AGAIN I wouldn't have cared if he told me he wanted to. I still don't receive the attention I want. But because of family and other trauma, I don't want to be around anyone else but him. Even if it was a guy giving me attention and sex. I don't want to committ to anyone else but him. But then that's where another thing comes along 😭 I think there's a chance I'm polyamourus. I want to be committed to one person and love them and give them what the want unconditionally. But at the same time I want to still give others attention, and get attention from others, and be more sexually active. I did my own research, but I still don't know if it's just the lack of attention, or me actually just wanting more than one partner. And the thing is, if I wasn't being able to provide something for my bf I would want him to take the day to go do something he wants. I honestly think it's healthy getting out of each other's hair every once in a while. As long as it doesn't go any farther ya know? I don't know! 😭 I'm just rambling at this point. This is my first long term relationship. I've only ever put this much effort into one other relationship in my past. I just don't know how to feel anymore.
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