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Blaze7
195 M Embraced 1
PathStep 6 Compassion hearts6 Forum posts1 Forum upvotes2 Current upvotes2 Age GroupAdult Last activeNovember, 2017 Member sinceJanuary 9, 2017
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Sexual Assault (trigger warning)
Trauma Support / by Blaze7
Last post
 December 8th, 2017
...See more I am 25 and suffered a horrendous attack at aged 12. I have never told anyone about it, I blocked it out for the last 13 years but now it is resurfacing and causing me a great deal of distress. I have depression and anxiety now. I met a group of ‘friends at a house where they subjected me to an awful beating, I was tortured for an hour. Three girls and one boy, I was then forced to have sex with the boy or they would have killed me. He raped me while they stood watching and smirking. I have never been so scared in all my life. They were calculating and had planned the whole thing in detail, not hitting my face so that adults wouldnt see the bruises, making sure the boys family were out that night. These were kids, the girls were the same age as me, we had grown up together since primary 1 in school. The boy was one of the girls older cousins of 15. I was black and blue for weeks. I suffered this horrendous ordeal but turned in on myself unable to ever mention it to anyone. I tell myself that any normal 12 year old would have ran to the nearest adult and told them what happened but I couldnt. I was neglected emotionally by my parents throughout my childhood and our relationship to this day is awkward and strained. I have lived through so much with this huge weight on my shoulders. I feel I dont know who I am, has my whole life been shaped by what happened to me.
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