BluJay23 Member Profile

...See more So last November we found out my wife was pregnant. I didn't know how to deal with her emotions and had got in contact with my ex and would ask her advice from a woman's point of view. Never did anything with her and would only talk about my wife. My wife would question me and I would lie bc I didn't want to see her upset. She found out and we would fight slot bc she no longer trusted me. It caused both of us alot of stress mainly her bc I wasn't as present as I once was. We ended up losing the baby in February and it caused a bigger rift. The issues with her and losing the baby sent me into a deep depression and I started isolating myself from her and our other 2 kids unintentionally. We fought more bc I wasn't paying attention to her needs and we kind of took a break. We moved into a new house this past August thinking it would make things better but it only made it worse. I started streaming games when I wasn't working to run away from issues at home and to try to earn extra money to provide for the family in the future and I got tunnel visioned and it caused more tension and more distance between us bc I wasn't balancing my family time and streaming. So we split in September but continued living together but had more fights. My insecurities and fear of being replaced caused her to lose some friendships she started seeing someone and slept with him a couple times and I didn't know until I came home from work one night and found them in bed. It destroyed me honestly and I raged and threw him put and started yelling at her and said some really hurtful things. Over the next week or so I really got in a deep depression and started drinking a fifth of liquor a day. I still drink heavy bc I'm hurt and have said some hurtful things bc I was hurting. I got drunk last night and re read some of the things I said and I feel like complete ***. This woman has been my rock and I honestly love her more than anything she's the one fore me and I know it. I truly want to do better for her and the kids. I'm going to therapy starting Monday morning and started to stop drinking as of yesterday. I just want my wife and my family back. I miss her so much and I've been lost without her. Is our love and relationship salvageable?

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