BritTheOriginal Member Profile

...See more hey everyone. i haven’t been on this app in a few years, but i’m just really struggling and i feel like i need a community of people who can relate. i have bipolar 2, anxiety disorder with panic attacks, and i think i may be a hypochondriac. (does thinking i’m a hypochondriac make me sound more like a hypochondriac? 😅) over the past few months, i’ve had one fingernail with pitting that keeps peeling off and doesn’t seem to be healing. i decided to get some blood work done to check and make sure everything i don’t have a vitamin deficiency, which i am prone to. everything in my bloodwork came back fine, except my pituitary gland function. for a little back story, physical health issues scare the crap out of me. i’d rather die suddenly than to live the rest of my days knowing i having a life threatening illness. the thought of medical procedures really really terrifies me. so today, i got a call from my doctor. as soon as their name popped up on caller ID, my heart dropped, my body felt very hot, i started sweating, hyperventilating a bit, and my hands were shaking so bad it took a couple of times to answer. i took the call and tried to remain calm and think logically so i could still gather info i needed and ask necessary questions. but holy cow, i’m just so drained after that. this was around noon today, and even 6 hours later, i’m drifting in and out of disassociation, and i just feel numb and tired. panic attacks are always so scary. i know im okay and im able to ground myself and pull myself out of it. but then its like i get flooded with emotions like guilt and stupidity and anger towards myself afterwards. and then im just numb for the rest of the day and what ive always called “autopilot”. im just tired. i hope anyone else who suffers with similar issues knows that they aren’t alone. it’s a bad day, not a bad life. 💕💕

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