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BubbingScrubbles
148 M Embraced 1
PathStep 6 Compassion hearts29 Forum posts3 Forum upvotes19 Current upvotes19 Age GroupAdult Last activeOctober, 2022 Member sinceOctober 9, 2022
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Loveless marriage
35 & Over Community / by BubbingScrubbles
Last post
 January 22nd, 2023
...See more So, I’m 37 and I’ve been in a loveless marriage for the last two years; which is exactly when our daughter was born. a little backstory: we were married before, and broke up, I came back when he lovebombed me and shortly after I got pregnant. When I gave birth he tested positive for chlamydia, which I think broke my whole trust in him entirely. For the last 6 years he’s exerted his control over me and kept me from doing a lot that I love like art, cosplay and painting. All of that is a waste of time to him, so, I feel like I’m a waste of time too. He’s got all the classic narcissist tendencies, claims to want to change when things get rough, but then reverts right back to his old self every time. Now he’s started using my statements as attacks against me. Things like “I want the same independence you have” are egregious to him. When I try to help him realize he’s being abusive emotionally he gets reactionary and scapegoats his issues. Usually onto me. After 6 years I wonder why I came back, and now that we have a child together, and seeing how he makes me feel; that’s the last thing I want for my precious girl. I definitely don’t want her to grow up thinking how he treats me is ok. I finally had it, and lined up a really great opportunity to join an airline, and of course he tries to talk me out of it every single step of the way. So, I’m going at it alone. I know that once I’m out and on my own, away from his control structure I’ll file for divorce, and sole custody.. which is another battle he’s going to make hard on me because he just plain can’t accept responsibility in a relationship situation. I desperately want someone to love, and love me back the way I know I deserve to be loved; and I know he lacks that capacity in every way that’s essential to me. I have men actually hitting on me daily, but I don’t tell him because he’d belittle me for being sexy; or tell me they’re just in it for the sex, and hey, some are! But the fact that other people desire me is powerful, more powerful than his desire for me. Im definitely not perfect, I have a lot of doubts about my life, about how sexy I am, and my neediness and high maintenance aspects are definitely not my finer points; but I’m also willing to work on those. Any advice for a soon to be single mom? This is going to be a rough year.
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