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Bumbleebee99
298 M Embraced 2
PathStep 7 Compassion hearts8 Forum posts14 Forum upvotes5 Current upvotes5 Age GroupAdult Last activeOctober, 2015 Member sinceAugust 30, 2015
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What does a depressed person need/want?
Depression Support / by Bumbleebee99
Last post
 October 9th, 2015
...See more Ive been dating my boyfriend for over 2 years... He has had some issues he struggled with prior to the beginning of our relationship but about 6 months in, he had a whole slew of unfortunate events involving negative people and family members that I think really started to cloud his mind. He slowly but surely slipped into depression. We lived together and then out of no where, he told me that he thought I would be better off without him. He said not to take it personally, which is very hard to do. But he admits that he has been/is depressed and he feels like he's dragging me down. I'm trying to be understanding and give him the space he's asked for. I've started to move my things out and am staying somewhere else right now. In our last few conversations he's said that he feels he's 'not worth it' and that he feels toxic and that I shouldn't be around it. He told me that he felt guilty about being depressed around me and that he couldn't deal with both the depression and the guilt of being depressed at the same time. I tried to let him know he had no reason to feel guilty and that I loved him before his depression, I love him now and I love who he will be once he's through it. There are a few things I'm concerned about and I'm trying to figure out/understand the delicate balance of offering support but also giving him space. A lot of the issues stem from his family and he truly doesn't have anyone in his family that will be there for him. He has a few friends but he told me that he doesn't feel like he has 'real' friends. They probably won't do much to reach out to him and aren't even aware of some of the stuff he's dealing with. So what worries me is that he doesn't have any type of support system. I told him that when a depressed person pushes themselves into isolation, it's usually not very good for them. I still have some things at his house and we have had a few conversations since the break up about his depression. We ended the conversations crying, hugging, saying 'I love you' and then I've granted him the space he wants. I've asked/insisted for him to see a therapist, just so he can speak to a professional that might be able to help him sort through some of the issues that seem to be weighing on him. Today, he seemed more into that idea than previously. So my main question: 1. As his ex-gf but also (literally) the only person who's been supportive, what is the right balance of giving him space and support?
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