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Candy73
123 M Embraced 1
PathStep 1 Compassion hearts18 Forum posts4 Forum upvotes9 Current upvotes9 Age GroupAdult Last activeAugust, 2023 Member sinceAugust 1, 2023
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Mom needs serious advice!!
General Support / by Candy73
Last post
 August 3rd, 2023
...See more Hi, I’m new here so please bear with me. I’m a mom to 4 adults & 3 grandchildren. I have an issue that’s causing me so much stress & depression I just don’t know what to do. Backstory- My oldest son is 31 & has always lived with me. He pays half the rent & utilities. My oldest daughter is 27 & she has 2 children ages 6 & 2. She recently separated from her children’s father. He left the home & she stayed there. So my daughter asked me a month ago if she & my grandkids could come stay here with us bc she has some electrical issues & issues with mice until she can find somewhere else to rent. I told her I’d have to talk to her brother about it bc he pays for half of the bills. My son has lots of issues with anxiety & depression. He doesn’t like being around a lot of people due to this. He works a job that requires him getting up at 2am so he has to go to bed really early. If I had to describe my daughter in one word it would be “chaos”. She’s the type of person that will give you the shirt off of her back but there’s always chaos around. So back to my daughter asking me if they can stay. I never really gave her an answer bc her brother didn’t want them to stay & I didn’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings. But she ended up showing up one day & has been here for over a month now. My son wants me to back him in telling her she has to either find another place or go back to her home by Friday. If I don’t back him he’s going to look into moving out. I feel horrible bc personally I’d prefer to not live with my grandchildren. Granted I love them more than anything & I watch them all the time but as we all know living with someone changes the dynamics of any relationship. I don’t know what to do bc when I tried talking to my daughter about it she just got really mad & said I shouldn’t ever turn my back on my kids no matter how her brother feels. I tried explaining that it’s just too loud in the house nor do we really have the room. They are all 3 staying in my living room, sleeping on a blow up mattress. Can anyone please give me some advice as to how to handle this so I don’t make either of my kids think I care more about the others needs or their situations? I’d greatly appreciate all feedback & advice.
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