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CelticRose13
118 M Embraced 1
PathStep 1 Compassion hearts16 Forum posts1 Forum upvotes9 Current upvotes9 Age GroupAdult Last activeAugust, 2024 Member sinceAugust 18, 2024
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Fertility Problems
7 Cups Online Therapy / by CelticRose13
Last post
 August 18th, 2024
...See more Hi, This is honestly my first time trying a support group for this. I've been hitting a lot of low points in this topic and not having people to talk to that truly understand what I'm going through has sucked. My husband and I have been trying to conceive for almost 5 years now. I've monitored my cycle and tracked my ovulation. I've tried vitamins and diet. We've seen a specialist and got told we were both fine that we just might need some help. They found polyps in my cervix that got removed. I've seen another specialist that told me my iron and progesterone was low so then I tried Clomid for 3 to 4 months and still had no luck. I can't afford IVF or the other fertility pill that costs almost $1300 a month. I've even tried manifestation, praying, and the whole "If it happens it happens" attitude. My husband tries to say it might be him, but he has a child from his first marriage. I watch everyone else around me have kids like it's nothing and I struggle to be happy for them. I really am happy for them, but then I feel jealous and resentful. Then I feel guilty for feeling that way. I just keep telling everyone I'm fine because I feel like if I open up about how I'm feeling, I'll get met with essentially "I shouldn't feel that way" and end up feeling angry or worse about myself for feeling the way I do. I honestly told my husband that I'm hitting the point that I just don't want to have kids anymore. I can't take the heartache month after month anymore. I feel like I'm better off just accepting the fact that kids are never gonna happen and just moving on in life. I've felt alone in my feelings and feel like I can't vent without people being annoyed with me. Does it make me a bad person to feel that way?
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