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CharmingMander10
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PathStep 1 Compassion hearts9 Forum posts3 Forum upvotes0 Current upvotes0 Age GroupAdult Last activeJanuary, 1970 Member sinceMarch 5, 2015
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How do I turn down a friend?
Relationship Stress / by CharmingMander10
Last post
 March 25th, 2015
...See more As I begin to write this, I realize that this all may come across as being silly. But here I go. I am not one for friendships. I have those who are close to me, but even they are quite far away (if you compare to other peoples classic "friendships") and one other who means the world to me. I will say I'm an introvert, and I love my personal space.  Most of my university friendships are nothing more than a "hello" or "how are you?" type relationship. Nothing more than small talk; I prefer my privacy and don't like to open up for anyone. Due to some instances in my past, its just how I prefer it. There was a guy at university that was nothing more than one of those people in my life, however now I can't seem to get away from him. He had invited me out for lunch during the summer break, and I thought I should try to change my attitude on "friends" so I decided to go. (I had also felt bad that I declined a group meet up a week earlier due to anxiety issues.) We talked. That was that. Uni starts and all of a sudden he's talking to me at any opportunity. Texts me at random times. And if I look around a room (which I often do) most times I will catch him looking toward me. Now, at the start I thought "hey, he's just being nice", but there is one thing that bothers me and weirds me out. I have a rule, and those who unknowingly break it will bother me until they prove otherwise. The rule is: I am a person, treat me like you would any other of your friends. I can't help but think "You base how you talk to them on their personality not their gender, so why is it that I am treated like a "girl" because I am female? " He began to say things that made me feel uncomfortable, and doesn't seem to leave me alone. Part of me hopes that he is just being nice and is just awkward around girls because he may not have many friends who are female. But to me it feels like I'm making excuses. He knows I have a boyfriend, so I don't understand why he is so clingy. I'm not that close with him. I don't know what to do. It makes me uncomfortable being at Uni, but at the same time I feel terrible if he is just trying to be a good friend. It's just not how I do friendships. 
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