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Clementine23
1 397 M Embraced 3
PathStep 1 Compassion hearts15 Forum posts3 Forum upvotes5 Current upvotes5 Age GroupAdult Last activeSeptember, 2026 Member sinceJuly 22, 2026
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I've been losing sleep over this and I need some advice
Relationship Stress / by Clementine23
Last post
 August 9th
...See more I've had a conversation with my boyfriend recently that made me feel really bad. I'm not sure how to deal with it since I don't really feel like it's his fault. I'm a very open person when I comes to trying new sexual experiences and we were texting about things we'd like to try. He wanted us to create a scenario in which we both add things we would do if put in that situation. And build on what the odher says (or at least that's what I understood). But apparently he had a very specific direction he wanted the scenario to go in that I didn't understand. So I ended up just saying whatever came to mind thinking I was doing a good enough job. At the end he told me it wasn't really what he expected or wanted to hear. That he thought of something completely different. That the stuff I said turned him off because it wasn't fitting the dynamic he wanted. And because I also described his actions which was redundant since I'm supposed to only talk from my pov. The issue is that I'm not that into the dynamic he expected either, at least not most of the time. I'm afraid we aren't sexualy compatible which makes me anxious about our relationship. And I felt really bad because I was actually having a great time and feeling good before he said this. I'm very embarrassed by the whole thing now especially after he said that "at least it's an improvement" while I was thinking I was doing great. It made me very sad. I guess I struggle alot with receiving criticism and accepting it. I know im very sensitive but it felt harsh especially after opening up and being vulnerable in that way. However I really don't think he is at fault here, he just wanted to see where it would go and just didn't end up liking it (which is totally fine). He was honest and I really appreciate that. Even if I know it's not his fault I still feel very hurt, ashamed and anxious. Now I don't know how to go about the fact that we apparently don't like the same things and how a compromise could even look like. I feel extremely upset about this, I spent the entire night after that conversation crying and restlessly rolling in bed. I still don't see a point in discussing it with him because it isn't his fault I'm so easily hurt by constructive criticism. Thank you for reading if you got this far and if you have any advice it would be really helpfuI. I really needed to get it off my chest since it's something I've been losing sleep over.
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I need to rant and some advice
Friendship Support / by Clementine23
Last post
 August 5th
...See more It's been almost 8 months since a very painful friendship breakup I just can't seem to get over. I can't stop replaying everything in my head, everything that went wrong and all the ways I could've saved a very important friendship. I've always struggled with loneliness and found it really hard to connect and keep in touch with people. Most of the interactions I've had with people felt so awkward and always led nowhere. But with them it felt so different, there was never an awkward pause and they made it all feel so easy for me. I suddenly was able to have long conversations and even speak to new people when I had them around. Being their friend opened up so many opportunities to meeting even more people and get closer to having the social life I've craved for so long. I've never met anyone quite like this, everyone wants to be around them, everyone is so drawn to them.I always found their natural magnetism deeply fascinating. It felt like maybe if I hang around them long enough some of it might rub off onto me and I'd be able to become even half as charismatic. We applied together for the same college and we are in the same class. At the beginning of the year I felt so proud to be their friend, I really liked that people saw us together all the time, knew that we had our own inside jokes, and that we've known eachother for 2 years and applied together. I know it probably sounds strange but ever since I was young I wished I had a friend like that. Until that moment I was always the one who was left out, didn't get the reference, wasn't in on the joke and wasn't there when anything woth telling happened. For the first time I was on the odher side. It's strange to think about now, I'm not even sure how close we actually were. After our falling out it all went downhill. (Right after I made two more friends I also lost just as fast but I won't talk about that now because this is getting really long already) Our friendship ended abruptly after an argument and I can't stop thinking about it ever since. I still had to see them every day at college and it hurt so much to act like complete strangers. They clearly were not really affected by it, they have so many friends and so many people who love being around them. They immediately found someone else and look so happy with their new friend group. It's like I never even existed. But I miss them so much still, even after 8 months. I will start my next year of college in October and I will inevitably have to see them every single day yet again. I thought it would be much easier to get over but it wasn't true. I'm back to where I was before, I'm lonely, I struggle to make friends and every conversation I have leads absolutely nowhere. Sometimes I dream that we're talking again, about door they opened for me being open once more. I'm just not sure what to do, how to cope because at the moment I cannot afford therapy. If you have any advice it would be really helpful. I have left out so many important events and many details from this story because it's already very long. But if you have any questions that could help for the advice I will answer. Thank you so much for taking your time to read this far.
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I really need some advice
20 & Over / by Clementine23
Last post
 July 29th
...See more I've always struggled with maintaining friendships and relationships with people. This has been a reoccurring issue for me and I'm pretty sure the reason is that I'm just generally very unlikable and have very few redeeming qualities. The problem is that I hate being this way, I want people to like having me around. I want to change and I really do try but it never ends up working for me. I feel very unpredictable to myself, I never know what the next wrong thing I do will be. So even if I realize I did something wrong and stop acting that way I just end up messing up in a different way almost every time. It's really hard to change when I feels like I have every bad trait in existence. I don't have any friends because most people don't have the patience to put up with me. Everyone that has ever gotten to know me on a deeper level has agreed with the fact that I'm mostly really hard to be around. I had a fight with my boyfriend very recently and even tho he is an exceptionally patient and kind person he said that sometimes I am extremely unlikable and annoying. He doesn't tell me because he knows it's hurtful but sometimes he just can't stand it anymore. It feels like im completely irredeemable and I need to change everything but I have no idea how. It's not like I ever mean to do any of this but intent doesn't really matter because the outcome is still the same. I always realized what I did wrong in hindsight but never in the moment. How do I become more self aware? I really want to have friends and healthy relationships. How do I stop being a bad person? Also if you read this thank you very much for taking your time to do so. I can't afford therapy at the moment but i really wish to get some help.
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