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Cmyk22
246 M Embraced 2
PathStep 5 Compassion hearts19 Forum posts4 Forum upvotes4 Current upvotes4 Age GroupAdult Last activeAugust, 2019 Member sinceJune 25, 2019
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Relationship Stress / by Cmyk22
Last post
 July 9th, 2019
...See more I just need to write this out somewhere. All these thoughts keep flying around in my head and I cant keep them straight at all. After 7 years, my boyfriend broke up with me last week and I still dont really know or understand what happened. Hed been having some issues with depression and anxiety for a while and I was doing my best to support him and compromise for him. When we moved to a new city he wanted to stay in his temporary flat share so we didnt move in together. Im in a small flat with all our stuff and our cat. For a long time now things with us havent been great. Hes been drinking, taking drugs, having emotional affairs (all of which he denied doing and tried to convince me I was overreacting) and he would shut down on me whenever I would question it. It felt like punishment for speaking out. Im still not sure if any of that was intentional. Can you accidentally gaslight someone? The more space from him I get, the more blurry everything has become. Was any of it really real? Did he ever love me or was i just a way out? When did it all start to go wrong or was it wrong from the start? I just dont know any more and I cant stop thinking about it and questioning it and Im really trying to make some kind of life for myself now that its over but how can I do that when I dont know what happened? All I said was should we think about taking a break and then he assumed we broke up. That really hurt. What else has he assumed? Sigh.
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