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ConsiderateZombie42
1 425 M Embraced 3
PathStep 13 Compassion hearts23 Forum posts4 Forum upvotes5 Current upvotes5 Age GroupAdult Last activeMarch, 2025 Member sinceNovember 12, 2023
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A guy from the UK who is barely hanging on but wants to help everyone.

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I feel lost and confused
Depression Support / by ConsiderateZombie42
Last post
 January 7th, 2024
...See more Hi everyone, first time posting here. Not really sure where to begin or what to say. I’ve always struggled with depression ever since I lost my grandma back in 2011. I got into an RTA back in 2019. Although nobody was severely injured, I don’t think I have fully recovered since then. Even now I’m still petrified of being in the car with my mum. Ever since that day, it seems like everything in my life has gone downhill and continues to spiral down, even if we exclude the pandemic. After the RTA, I went back to college and eventually was told that I should drop out as I wasn’t coping. My memory seems to be degrading since I can't really remember a lot of my childhood or things that I have previously learned and done. I used to play games to escape and have fun, but my skill level in those games seems worse than ever. My mental focus and attention span also seems lower than ever, but I blame social media and *** for that. I feel incapable of doing most things anymore and that my life is just a complete waste of time,    My creativity and imagination also seem to have disappeared entirely. When I used to be able to create stories and art as a kid, I no longer seem able to come up with anything creative or clever.  Despite my best efforts, I don't learn like I used to back in school and college. Even though I’ve spent the best part of 3 years trying to learn German, I don’t seem to understand anything and can’t speak fluently. Everything I've tried seems to fail. This also applies to self-help and mindfulness. I still rely heavily on my parents for everything, despite being 24 now. I'm incapable of doing things by myself. I am their only child and they're both in their early 60s now so I am constantly worried about how much time I have left with them, especially since I rely on them so heavily.  I can't drive and also don't want to due to past events and poor experience with one instructor. I have no job and was deemed as unfit by the government so rely on benefits. I constantly compare myself with other people and how successful they are, which just puts me down more as I think I'm incapable of doing better. I have no sense of identity or self worth and constantly put myself down. I feel completely lost and alone but also feel like I'm not worth the effort to get help, that everything I do is pathetic and needy.
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