CoolAsACucumber123 Member Profile

...See more This is something I’ve never really spoken about with anyone before and I’ve always tried to pretend it didn’t happen but it’s never worked. After 3 years of flashbacks and nightmares making me relive my trauma every day I’ve decided to finally talk about my experience. Three years ago I was 16 years old and went on holiday with my parents where we met a man who worked at a bar near our hotel. He was almost 40 and was very charismatic and charming. He’d give us free drinks and would always make sure he was the one to make drinks for us especially mine. He always gave me extra attention when we went to the bar and made me feel like I was important. I’d have struggled with anxiety and self esteem issues for my whole life so getting attention from him made me feel good about myself which is why when he asked me to go to the beach with him I thought nothing of it. I met up with him during the day as he’d offered to show me around and take me to one of the beaches however once I’d met him he said he’d forgotten something and needed to get it from his apartment. Once again I thought nothing of it. We went back to his apartment and he decided he didn’t want to go back out and wanted to just watch some tv. I’d tried to convince him to go back out but he wasn’t going to and I didn’t know where I was or how to get back to my hotel. He took advantage of me that day as he sexually assaulted and raped me. I didn’t want it to happen but he told me if I told my parents I’d be in trouble for it because I was too young to do things like that so when I got back to my hotel room I didn’t say anything to them and we continued going back to the bar he worked at. One night he wasn’t working so he came and sat with us and had some drinks with us. He drugged my parents drinks and also mine. He took me back to his apartment when my parents went back to the hotel and I was assaulted more. He then took me back to my hotel room but he followed me in and assaulted me again as I was passing out in my bed. After he was done he left the country and went back home. It took me months to accept the fact that he had raped and assaulted me but even then I tried to pretend it didn’t happen. When my parents found out they were disappointed in me for not telling them and to an extent they blamed me for it. I’ve been told so many times that what happened was my fault and I should’ve done something to stop it. I’ve felt dirty and ashamed since the first time it happened and that feeling has never left me.

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