Skip to main content Skip to bottom nav
Cosmicweirdness
1,065 M Little Steps 2
PathStep 10 Compassion hearts35 Forum posts31 Forum upvotes29 Current upvotes29 Age GroupAdult Last activeOctober, 2022 Member sinceJuly 10, 2017
Bio

Umm...I'm really into tv and movies. I like to drown out any sensory overload with music or sounds that I find calming. From Billie Eilish to a running shower. I'm pretty geeky and a little bit of a weebo, but I kinda like that. It was there for me when I needed something. I'm a constant daydreamer to the point where it's a bigger part of my life then most people know. I'm a bit paranoid. I over share things about myself with people I hardly know so don't mind me go on about your day ig.

Recent forum posts
Cosmicweirdness profile picture
I use to be afraid of long road trips.
Trauma Support / by Cosmicweirdness
Last post
 October 17th, 2019
...See more My birth father took my brother and me to an amusement park when we were Young can't remember when for the life of me. We had fun but when it was time to go back to him mom's house I had a bad feel. So we get in the car and he tells me to finish my drink from earlier. Long story short we we're stuck in traffic and I had to go to the bathroom. My bladder was really weak when I was younger and still is now. I couldn't hold it, he told me that when we get 'home' he's going to beat my tail. So then anytime after I'd rock, worry, or cry when we got close to a highway. It scared the life at of me. I remember this one time that I guess it just reminded me of that night too much. I started wale hard, so much so my parents had to pull over, stop the car, and call him to try to have I'm trlle it was ok. That didn't really work I just heard a little regret in his voice but the damage was done. Why I'm not afraid of they anymore is cause I had a new experience with long trips. My mom would pack us up in are running space heater of a car to go pick up our dad, she remarried thank God for that. Since it would be so hot she would buy us the big QT cups and fill them with juice or soda. And we would listen to music with the windows down. I for the life of me can't tell you what the songs were call and who sung them, but I could sing them word for word. One that I do know that I sung a lot was "I'm a fool" by Cee lo Green. Tho I still get a little uneasy about long rides with my dad I don't hate them now. I'm not afraid.
Cosmicweirdness profile picture
I have this creepy uncle
Trauma Support / by Cosmicweirdness
Last post
 June 23rd, 2019
...See more S first off I do have to say that he isn't all mentally there. He's an alcoholic and that mixed with some other stuff kinda damaged his brain. With that said I have issues with guys touching me, even family. I'm only really ok with hugging my stepdad, grandpa, and uncle B, let's call him that for privacy, it's been that way for me for years. I never really had an issue my uncle in-laws don't push. But when my creepy uncle came back into the picture he'd almost demand physical affection. He'd corner me, try to bribe me, and ask my parents if he can hug me. At first I tried to out right make it clear that what he was doing is upsetting me. That did work, my parents just told me I'm making a scene. I have to stand with my back against the wall so he can't come up from behind me, but I'm the problem. I..my anxiety use to come out as little OCD ticks like washing my hands constantly, taking days simply deep cleaning my room, organizing things ife it was still a mess, not touching door knobs or washing my hands after. I can't touch stuff that he has without feeling dirty, like scrub yourself untill you're a few shades lighter dirty. I want my mother to care but I doubt she will. She probably tell just don't feel that way. She's has a way of being incredibly dismissive, and I know if I don't we're just going to have another 'he's mentally I'll talk'. I love I my mom and i know she loves me I just wish she loved me enongh to care. I guess I can try to talk to my aunt about it.
Cosmicweirdness profile picture
I have an intense fear of circles
Anxiety Support / by Cosmicweirdness
Last post
 March 8th, 2020
...See more A bunch of them close together. It brings out an almost child like response from me. When is was about 4 my brother dragged me across the floor, with his unnaturally hyperactive strength, and gave me a rug burn. And so with wisdom beyond his years my birth father decided that should not go unpunished. So my birth father, mind you is six foot something about the size of a door frame, grabs my brother by his head. He grabbed him by the back of his head and proceeded to rub my two year old brother face in the ground. He got one too, my parents split up, finally. I've been incredibly afraid of circles like that since. I find it lovely that whenever I'm cold or freaked out I get those tiny little reminders. They make my skin crawl and I panic.
Cosmicweirdness profile picture
I have a hard time trusting men
Trauma Support / by Cosmicweirdness
Last post
 May 13th, 2019
...See more Ok, my home life has never been the best. My brother has some severe mental issues, autism, bipolar disorder, asperges, and epilepsy etc. My dad, my birth dad was and still Is bipolar; he was just much worse then but that's a different story. My mom was dealing with abuse and later trauma from my dad as well as taking care of my brother. You know the saying "the squeaky wheel gets the oil," as my mom says. So i...I guess I craved attention more than I ever knew I ever did. So I looked to my dad from it and he...let's say he is the best at positive affection. So I was so happy when my older cousin played with my brother and I. I was happy he plaid attention to me. That he didn't yell at me, I wasn't afraid of him. We played video games, we danced, and watched TV and movies. So when he suggested my brother and I play a game... under the blanket. I kinda forgot about it though I would recall the fact that it happened and try to bury it cause it was painful. And when I was ten my friend's brother held me down to her and his bed... he did something similar to my other friend.I guess I didn't think it was that big of a deal. My parents never called the police, never said he couldn't come over, and didn't really do much about it. Though my mom has always been more lenient of men with mental issues. Like with my touchy uncle , who gives me anxiety attcks, he's an alcoholic with brain problems. He's only ever that touchy with me. Now guys make know me nervous even the ones Ik.
Cosmicweirdness profile picture
I'm looking for someone to listen
General Support / by Cosmicweirdness
Last post
 July 20th, 2017
...See more If your someone willing to listen to a weird, dorky geek. To someone who won't try but might get on your nerves. Who might call, or text you in the middle of the night and won't tell you exactly why.Someone who you would have to watch because everything could seem ok but be far from it. Someone who will listen to you rant as well if needed. Than i'm just the person for you i guess.
Search more from @Cosmicweirdness
Talk to an expert therapist
Counseling is about making changes you seek in your life. It is a place that...
Talk to Stacy Now
Badges & Awards
20 total badges
Hand Shake Linked Quintet Chief Chat Honest Voice Strong Start Reconnect First Post Reaching out Helping out Appreciated Voice Contributor First Compassion Bundled Forum Companion Evolution Meet & Greet Teammate Forum Friend Strong Bond I
Report an issue