Skip to main content Skip to bottom nav
Coyodupre717
188 M Embraced 1
PathStep 5 Compassion hearts21 Forum posts3 Forum upvotes5 Current upvotes5 Age GroupAdult Last activeOctober, 2023 Member sinceOctober 2, 2023
Bio

I am a 31 year old Caucasian female diagnosed with PMDD ( pre menstrual dysphoric disorder). I am also an alcoholic and addict that has reIapsed over a dozen times. I have been through two rehabs, two halfway houses, drug court and two insane asylums due to addiction. I have done everything I can do to be at all of this. Me and the man I'm with for the past 3 years....he just celebrated 15 years sober. Thank God for his sobriety, bug he has other serious issues. I have two sons. Oldest 11 and youngest 5. Both biracial with black and white. Father passed away 2019. Basically just wanted to join a support group to give opinions when needed and receive feedback when I so desperately need it from anyone not clise to all my situations/ relationships.🤷🏼‍♀️🤦🏼‍♀️👍 Please


Recent forum posts
Coyodupre717 profile picture
3 years in a obviously toxic relationship, but can't end it
Relationship Stress / by Coyodupre717
Last post
 October 3rd, 2023
...See more Hi I'm like the newest new member that doesn't understand how to do anything online 🤦🏼‍♀️🤷🏼‍♀️ but seriously want some opinions from anyone will to listen... honest options.. I can take criticism... so please read and someone tell me what to do.... No matter what mistake any human being might make, the fact is we are All Human. But in This world, every mistake, most believe degrading, disrespect, and judgment is the punishment well deserved...For every mistake, big or small. And not just deserved in that moment, all this ugliness is endless for every mistake you have ever made. Even if the person or persons don't say it out loud, u feel them silently punishing you in some manner with every word that is spoken and even make it well known in any small action that they can add their UGLINESS to...and make it clear that is exactly what they are doing to you. day in and day out, constantly on repeat, over and over. and they know you know. And they do this to you from the second they walk thru the door and go on for hours... until they are finally tired and get in bed and wait for you.... Then they hold u make love to you and show u love that u NEVER SEE at any other time then this( obvious the partner part of everything)and if your someone like me.....someone so pathetic and desperate THAT SWALLOWS ALL THAT UGLINESS AND HATE UP EVERYDAY, AND DESPITE ALL OF IT? YOU STILL DO YOUR BEST TO NEVER DISAPPOINT...BECAUSE YOU LOVE THEM SO DEARLY AND DEEPLY, THEY HAVE BRAINWASHED YOU SO SEVERELY....THAT U FEEL ONE SMALL MISTAKE MEANS ONE UGLY HATEFUL COMMENT, AND IT HURTS SO BAD U CANT BREATHE.....AND ON THE DAY U MAKE MORE THAN ONE MISTAKE, YOU REPEAT THIS ON A DAILY AND STILL TRY YOUR HARDEST TO PLEASE THESE PEOPLE YOU LOVE SO MUCH. CAN SOMEONE TELL ME WHAT THE DEFINITION OF SOMEONE LIKE ME IS. OR DIAGNOSIS? WHATEVER IT IS... BECAUSE IT IS SOMETHING I CANNOT REPEAT AGAIN... BUT YET AS THEY REACH OUT TO ME I FEEL A HOLE IN MY SOUL...AND THIS ISNT JUST A PARTNER/ LOVER. THIS IS ALSO A MOTHER. A SISTER. IT SEEMS I HAVE NO CHOICE BUT TO BE SURROUNDED WITH THIS CERTAIN TYPE OF PEOPLE... SO I RUN TOWARD THESE TYPES BECAUSE IT IS WHAT IM USED TO? EVEN KNOW IT MAKES ME MISERABLE...BUT THE LEVEL OF TOXIC IS SO CLEARLY ENTIRELY TOO MUCH FOR ME... AND TO STAY HEALTHY AT THE SAME TIME?. MISSION IMPOSSIBLE.... SOMEONE TELL ME HOW I PUT MY SELF AND MY TWO BEAUTIFUL SONS, OLDEST 11 AND YOUNGEST 5....BEING WITH HIM I LOST EVERYTHING I DID HAVE. MY CAR, APARTMENT, JOB, EVERYTHING.... BUT I HAVE PACKED EVERYTHING AND LEFT COMING BACK TO THE SAME TYPE OF PEOPLE... MY MOM, AND MY DAD IS A VERY SERIOUSLY ILL FALL DOWN ALCOHOLIC... WHO WOULDNT BE ALIVE IF I DIDNT COME EVERYDAY AND TALK TO HIM, FEED HIM, GIVE HIM HOPE, BECAUSE HE HAS NO ONE ELSE TO DO THAT FOR HIM AND UNLIKE EVERY OTHER HATEFUL PERSON IN NY FAMILY I CANNOT STAND ON THE SIDELINES AND WATCH HIM KILL HIMSELF. MAYBE THIS IS WAYYYYY TO MUCH AND I NEED *** THERAPY
Search more from @Coyodupre717
Considering Therapy?
Talk to an expert therapist
Badges & Awards
9 total badges
Hand Shake Linked First Post Reaching out Helping out First Compassion Bundled Teammate Forum Friend
Report an issue