3 years in a obviously toxic relationship, but can't end it
Hi I'm like the newest new member that doesn't understand how to do anything online 🤦🏼♀️🤷🏼♀️ but seriously want some opinions from anyone will to listen... honest options.. I can take criticism... so please read and someone tell me what to do....
No matter what mistake any human being might make, the fact is we are All Human. But in This world, every mistake, most believe degrading, disrespect, and judgment is the punishment well deserved...For every mistake, big or small. And not just deserved in that moment, all this ugliness is endless for every mistake you have ever made. Even if the person or persons don't say it out loud, u feel them silently punishing you in some manner with every word that is spoken and even make it well known in any small action that they can add their UGLINESS to...and make it clear that is exactly what they are doing to you. day in and day out, constantly on repeat, over and over. and they know you know. And they do this to you from the second they walk thru the door and go on for hours... until they are finally tired and get in bed and wait for you.... Then they hold u make love to you and show u love that u NEVER SEE at any other time then this( obvious the partner part of everything)and if your someone like me.....someone so pathetic and desperate THAT SWALLOWS ALL THAT UGLINESS AND HATE UP EVERYDAY, AND DESPITE ALL OF IT? YOU STILL DO YOUR BEST TO NEVER DISAPPOINT...BECAUSE YOU LOVE THEM SO DEARLY AND DEEPLY, THEY HAVE BRAINWASHED YOU SO SEVERELY....THAT U FEEL ONE SMALL MISTAKE MEANS ONE UGLY HATEFUL COMMENT, AND IT HURTS SO BAD U CANT BREATHE.....AND ON THE DAY U MAKE MORE THAN ONE MISTAKE, YOU REPEAT THIS ON A DAILY AND STILL TRY YOUR HARDEST TO PLEASE THESE PEOPLE YOU LOVE SO MUCH.
CAN SOMEONE TELL ME WHAT THE DEFINITION OF SOMEONE LIKE ME IS. OR DIAGNOSIS? WHATEVER IT IS... BECAUSE IT IS SOMETHING I CANNOT REPEAT AGAIN... BUT YET AS THEY REACH OUT TO ME I FEEL A HOLE IN MY SOUL...AND THIS ISNT JUST A PARTNER/ LOVER. THIS IS ALSO A MOTHER. A SISTER. IT SEEMS I HAVE NO CHOICE BUT TO BE SURROUNDED WITH THIS CERTAIN TYPE OF PEOPLE... SO I RUN TOWARD THESE TYPES BECAUSE IT IS WHAT IM USED TO? EVEN KNOW IT MAKES ME MISERABLE...BUT THE LEVEL OF TOXIC IS SO CLEARLY ENTIRELY TOO MUCH FOR ME... AND TO STAY HEALTHY AT THE SAME TIME?. MISSION IMPOSSIBLE.... SOMEONE TELL ME HOW I PUT MY SELF AND MY TWO BEAUTIFUL SONS, OLDEST 11 AND YOUNGEST 5....BEING WITH HIM I LOST EVERYTHING I DID HAVE. MY CAR, APARTMENT, JOB, EVERYTHING.... BUT I HAVE PACKED EVERYTHING AND LEFT COMING BACK TO THE SAME TYPE OF PEOPLE... MY MOM, AND MY DAD IS A VERY SERIOUSLY ILL FALL DOWN ALCOHOLIC... WHO WOULDNT BE ALIVE IF I DIDNT COME EVERYDAY AND TALK TO HIM, FEED HIM, GIVE HIM HOPE, BECAUSE HE HAS NO ONE ELSE TO DO THAT FOR HIM AND UNLIKE EVERY OTHER HATEFUL PERSON IN NY FAMILY I CANNOT STAND ON THE SIDELINES AND WATCH HIM KILL HIMSELF. MAYBE THIS IS WAYYYYY TO MUCH AND I NEED *** THERAPY
@Coyodupre717 hello i appreciate you joining 7 cups, don't worry no one here judges peoples stories. I am so sorry you have to deal with a toxic relationship. I have dealt with one from when i was 14 until i was about 16 years old. during those 2 years i had felt hopeless and defeated. The thing is it does get better over time and if you are in serious trouble that could end up hurting your children i suggest calling the police or someone to get you out of the situation. no one deserves to be treated so unfairly especially when they do everything they can to have a stable relationship. all i could say is that you are not the problem, your partner is. they are unhappy with themselves and always feel the need to bring someone down to their level of misery. sometimes writing things down can help better understand your situation and yourself as a person, its good for self reflection. again i am sorry you have to feel with this nonsense it is not fair. but there is always light at the end of the tunnel. feel free to join chat rooms there is plenty of support there and probably a ton more advice then what i am giving you. sometimes you have to sacrifice things in your life in order to keep you and your babies safe. safety is the top priority <3 sending much love and hugs, i will pray for you
Relationships are hard. Relationships after suffering sexual assault are even harder. My partner has been more than understanding and caring through my healing process. I have entered a phase where I have no desire for physical intimate touch. I’ve been out on anxiety meds and that has impacted it also. But I just don’t want it or need it. My partner has the opposite issue, he wants to have the physical touch aspect at a high rate. We talk about it quite often and where I’m at and how we feel about it as a couple. But a part of me consistently feels bad for saying don’t touch me, I don’t want to be touched, I’m ok without that component right now. It feels selfish to say it, because he has a voice in the relationship, he has wants/needs. I just don’t know what to do or where to go from here
