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Crisblues
4,439 M Seeking Light 6
PathStep 150 Compassion hearts130 Forum posts80 Forum upvotes79 Current upvotes79 Age GroupAdult Last activeFebruary, 2021 Member sinceJanuary 17, 2016
Bio
Hi! I'm Cristina, but you can call me Cris, I'm 23 and I'm from Chile c: I love reading, playing the guitar, listening to music, talk to people... Even If I'm too shy, but I'm a nice person and a good friend.
Well, I'm still having some problems about my future, self steem, insecurity and about what decisions I'm going to make this year... But I'm trying to be positive and solve all of this.
Recent forum posts
He won't let me breakup with him
Relationship Stress / by Crisblues
Last post
 January 26th, 2021
...See more We've been together for 5 years now, and eventhough I grew up a lot in this relationship, the bad memories overshadow the happy ones. It really messed my mental health up and I feel like I can't love him right, or even myself because I really hate me... But every time I talk about how toxic this relationship is he just begs for opportunities to change or tries to agree to all of my conditions eventhough I don't want that. I want to heal but he really won't let me go and I don't want to hurt him because of his depression, but I'm also depressed considering to stop existing because I really feel trapped. My best friend stopped talking to me a few days ago and I feel lonelier than ever... however I don't think is right to be together just because I'm lonely. He doesn't want to go to therapy either so... I don't understand how this situation can get any better. I'm done trying to save others over me, I feel like I'm going to be consumed by everyone I love at some point... And eventhough I don't know if I love him anymore, I don't want to hurt him. All the memories and pictures just hold me back and day "just stay, you know him, he won't left" but other part just is dying with all this situation. I've always defended my relationship from friends, from my parents and even therapists, but... Maybe they were right about it all the time and I just was wrong with this. Believe me that I've dealt with his episodes of self harm, sui..cide threatening, lots of manipulation and promises that he would change. I think I'm crazy already because of all the problems I've been facing right now and I'm just weak, because I really feel like I can't do it. I really feel like a bad person for even considering such an option.
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