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CyanSkyRoyal
230 M Embraced 2
PathStep 5 Compassion hearts11 Forum posts6 Forum upvotes6 Current upvotes6 Age GroupAdult Last activeMay, 2020 Member sinceMarch 17, 2020
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I wanna disappear
Depression Support / by CyanSkyRoyal
Last post
 May 6th, 2020
...See more Lately I've been feeling like everyone is using me. My friend only wants to "hangout" when she wants me to get her high or when she needs me to babysit. My mom is only nice to me when she's asking me for money. Otherwise her and the rest of the family are telling me what I'm doing wrong. My job only focuses on the 1 thing I didn't get done rather than the 99 things I busted my ass getting done for their benefit and not mine. I'm on financial aid suspension so I can't go back to school because I can't afford it. My credit is fucked up so I can't find an apartment. No one will teach me how to drive so I can't get in my car and escape for awhile. I use marijuana as an escape. To be honest, when I'm high is the only time I feel genuinely happy now. That and when I'm around puppies or babies. Otherwise I'm feeling sorry for myself, having mental breakdowns, crying myself to sleep in my closet, listening to my suicidal playlist, and thinking of ways to off myself without my family having to see my body. Thanks for letting me rant.
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