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DAYBYDAY247
521 M Embraced 4
PathStep 13 Compassion hearts32 Forum posts11 Forum upvotes4 Current upvotes4 Age GroupAdult Last activeFebruary, 2023 Member sinceJune 22, 2022
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Afraid to loose my bestfriend
Relationship Stress / by DAYBYDAY247
Last post
 February 11th, 2023
...See more Hello, Me and my best friend have been friends for 6 years and have done everything together, going to the doctor the dentist shopping traveling together even live together it's almost as if we're married. I have become very codependent and attached to them. They love me a lot but they don't see me the same way. They've even done more sacrifices for me that I have done for them. But I have confessed and they don't feel the same way but also don't leave. They recently started talking to a long lost friend that they cared greatly about. And might even date in the future. And I can't handle what will become of me. They've been texting non-stop for 3 days straight. And I can't control my feelings. I turn toxic and ask a million questions. I know very well that I'm being toxic. But I also know that I can't stay if I actually love him it's not healthy for either of us. But we live together we do everything together and abandoning him for something that he doesn't deserve hurts to even think about. He tells me that they're just friends and he'll never leave me. But I know that in life once you marry someone and start your life with them, best friends end up on the side. It hurts me thinking that they will replace me and do everything that we used to do with that other individual. So I can't leave but how can I stay? Do I have to put myself through this grief. Do I have to show up to their wedding? They has been abandoned before and I've been with them ever since. The thought of me abandoning them is extremely unfair and cruel. I've talked to him told him this exact paragraph. And he always says that he won't replace me that he will always be here for me and even if he does get married and everything he will still try and hang out. My heart can't take this. To make things worse my family and his family are very close and we see each other every day and every weekend through social ties. Everyone sees us the best friends ever. So if I were to leave him everyone would notice. The only time I'm happy is if they're single because my life then feels like I'm married and everything is ok. Even though I know it's a delusion. But he won't leave me... And I can't leave him. So what do I do? Anyone been through this situation?
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I'm in love with my bestfriend, and they don't feel the same
Friendship Support / by DAYBYDAY247
Last post
 February 11th, 2023
...See more Hello, Me and my best friend have been friends for 6 years and have done everything together, going to the doctor the dentist shopping traveling together even live together it's almost as if we're married. I have become very codependent and attached to them. They love me a lot but they don't see me the same way. They've even done more sacrifices for me that I have done for them. But I have confessed and they don't feel the same way but also don't leave. They recently started talking to a long lost friend that they cared greatly about. And might even date in the future. And I can't handle what will become of me. They've been texting non-stop for 3 days straight. And I can't control my feelings. I turn toxic and ask a million questions. I know very well that I'm being toxic. But I also know that I can't stay if I actually love him it's not healthy for either of us. But we live together we do everything together and abandoning him for something that he doesn't deserve hurts to even think about. He tells me that they're just friends and he'll never leave me. But I know that in life once you marry someone and start your life with them, best friends end up on the side. It hurts me thinking that they will replace me and do everything that we used to do with that other individual. So I can't leave but how can I stay? Do I have to put myself through this grief. Do I have to show up to their wedding? They has been abandoned before and I've been with them ever since. The thought of me abandoning them is extremely unfair and cruel. I've talked to him told him this exact paragraph. And he always says that he won't replace me that he will always be here for me and even if he does get married and everything he will still try and hang out. My heart can't take this. To make things worse my family and his family are very close and we see each other every day and every weekend through social ties. Everyone sees us the best friends ever. So if I were to leave him everyone would notice. The only time I'm happy is if they're single because my life then feels like I'm married and everything is ok. Even though I know it's a delusion. But he won't leave me... And I can't leave him. So what do I do? Anyone been through this situation?
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Is it too late for me and my best friend?
Relationship Stress / by DAYBYDAY247
Last post
 June 25th, 2022
...See more Hello Overall I've dealt with trust issues and extreme lack of willpower which doesn't help when I overthink. I bring up serious discussions so much that it makes my best friend reach his breaking point. We do everything together and I mean everything: we go to the dentist go to the gym hang out at each other's house go to church, travel the world, go to concerts together. I do truly believe he loves me. I wish I didn't overthink and always make myself believe that he's going to replace me. We're both pretty pacifist except when these thoughts come to light and it brings way to many discussions that they become fights. He's dealt with anger issues before even if they're small I can tell that I make them extremely upset when I say these things. These fights don't happen often but it's been 4 years and I feel like I'm still the same person. He tries to teach me and states that he wants me to learn and become a better person. Lately this was our recent fight. I see him get happy with other people and I asked him what I can do so he can be happy with me and he says he is happy because of me and sometimes I do believe it because I have seen it with my own eyes. But there was an occasion where he would come home so happy because of a particular coworker and I felt that I didn't make him as happy as I co-worker did because he started treating me way nicer that day. I couldn't help but feel distrust and hopelessness. I wish to make him happy how they made him happy. Distrust has brought him to the breaking point to where he shuts that he loves me and that I'm his best friend. I believe him because nobody would fight that hard for something they don't care about and I hate being such a crybaby for everything. We're all I just want was to make him so happy to where he acts different and kind. He says says that I do make him happy. Although I believe it's not to the point that he was happy that day (he was kinder that day, asking me questions about my day which is rare) with that other person. Him acting different made me feel like I wasn't enough. At least I wanted him to be that happy person he was that day but on his own without that other person having an impact on him. It makes him so mad when I ask him what I can do that other people do to make him love me more. It gets him incredibly mad because he says that I do make him happy and it's like to slap on the face cuz I don't believe him. But he's not the same it's like that person pulls his heart strings or something. I know I sound crazy, and probably extremely nagging but I try my best to keep these feelings inside until I can't anymore. I fight myself all the time asking myself "will I ever be enough to make him happy like that" or was he just happy that day because hes excited about a new kinship at work and I'm over reacting. The saddest part is that I asked if that person replaced me already and he got so mad that he hit me and I hit him back which has never happened and I'm scared that this is just too far gone. Looking back as I'm writing this I have to change asap because I've really dismantled his patience and kindness for me because of all of my issues. Overall we have an amazing time together always except when I overthink and then he has to bring me to a better position which has obviously made him reach his breaking point. Any suggestions?
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