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DontGetAnyBigIdeas
156 38,842 M Determined Treads 10
PathStep 9 Compassion hearts4,409 Forum posts14 Forum upvotes16 Current upvotes16 Age GroupAdult Last activeNovember, 2026 Member sinceMay 31, 2026
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Overthinking (even) the title
Trauma Support / by DontGetAnyBigIdeas
Last post
 October 18th
...See more Just writing this here as a raw vent. I’m not looking for advice or solutions right now, I just feel cornered and needed a safe place to put this out of my head. (But everyone’s welcome to respond.) Growing up, my childhood seemed okay from the outside, but the little time my dad spent home from work was filled with constant terror. Even now, he tries to force me to live life "by the book." His control left me deeply insecure, to the point where I still instinctively believe his negative voice over anyone else's. For a while, I tried to prove I had control over my own life. After my cousin died, I got a tattoo and a piercing. After a breakup, I went out and bought a brand new car without telling my dad. It felt like a new beginning at the time, like everything will just magically start feeling better, but the high wore off and I just ended up feeling hopeless all over again and started coping in an unhealthy way. Now, I feel completely stuck. People who know me are actually trying to support me and are encouraging me to start my own business. But because my self-worth is so low, I just end up pushing them away. I am just caught in a lonely cycle—stuck between the father who broke my confidence, the people I won't let close enough to help, and a total lack of belief in myself. 
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