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ElderMaquia
310 M Embraced 2
PathStep 3 Compassion hearts19 Forum posts10 Forum upvotes18 Current upvotes18 Age GroupAdult Last activeDecember, 2020 Member sinceJune 30, 2019
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I know this sounds stupid
Trauma Support / by ElderMaquia
Last post
 November 20th, 2020
...See more Last year I lost my cats. There were sixty of them. No, I don't collect them. People bring them to me, other cats bring them to me, I've been blackmailed into adopting some of them... They were feral cats who I ended up feeding and caring for. Unfortunately, things piled up and I had to take a small break from caring for them. I trusted the wrong person, and they did more harm in a week than I thought possible. Then someone who wanted something I had, reported me and my animals, and she got lucky enough to find them just when I wasn't the one caring for them. I was considered insane, had my cats taken from me, and I lost everything. I know all of you will look at this and won't understand why I still have nightmares, why I can't sleep at night, why is that a problem for me. Thing is, I was depressed, and those cats appeared at my lowest point, and I focused on caring for them, and started getting better. They, all of them, are my support and my family. And when their time in this world is over, I'll say goodbye and move on while remembering them. But they have been taken away, and to me it's like they took away my family and left me standing alone.
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I can’t go away
Trauma Support / by ElderMaquia
Last post
 November 23rd, 2020
...See more My family are bullies. Worst of all, I think they can't help it. They use my mental health against me because, to them, I have a weak mind. They question my memories so often and with such conviction, that I doubt my own knowledge and mind. They criticize my choice of clothing to the point that I buy and dress in clothes I hate, just because I know they'll leave me alone. They use my own feelings against me to blackmail me into staying with them. They criticize my weight while they eat like elephants. They trick me into spending money so they can complain that I spend all of it. It's been like that since forever. I haven't been able to finish my studies, the jobs I can find don't pay enough for me to move out or finish my education, and I'm already old enough that jobs think me a dinosaur. And I can't move away. No money, no other family, no boyfriend or friends who can help. They use everything I say against me, and they make me believe I'm selfish, stupid, insane, weak, ugly, fat and worthless.
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