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Ella819
3,667 M Seeking Light 2
PathStep 1 Compassion hearts64 Forum posts13 Forum upvotes16 Current upvotes16 Age GroupAdult Last activeFebruary, 2019 Member sinceSeptember 22, 2018
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Want my eating disorder back. (Anorexia
Eating Disorder Support / by Ella819
Last post
 November 10th, 2018
...See more idk why but when i keep trying to connec to a listener on here theyre all blocking me as soon as i say this so have no one to speak to and feel really bed that i have this thought now. I have diagnosis of anorexia which was diagnosed a while ago but feel like i have developed binge eating disorder. I feel out of control and fat and want to go back to restricting and to starving myself til it hurts and get that feeling. I want to be able to see my bones more clearly and to feel i have achieved something. I feel more depressed than ever and felt like it was a way to cope. I am the low end of healthy weight but feel horrible. I feel bad for thinking this and f**ked up as i know any eating disorder is isolating and horrible but id rather feel incontrol and i hate binge eating. Just makes me prefer to not even be alive (Edited by @Emily619 to censor inappropriate language)
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