EvergreenPetrichor Member Profile

...See more I’m not good enough or smart enough for anything. I don’t do what I’m supposed to do to dig myself out of hardship because it doesn’t feel like it will ever be enough to undo all the mistakes I made. Nothing will change the narrative I left behind, or undo the hurt I caused, or mend my reputation. I know who I am now and who I’ll never be and what I’ll never have. I’ll never love myself enough to change the narrative in my head. I’ll never believe in myself enough to work hard for myself. I’m not a person. I’m not like everyone else in the worst of ways. Every time I’ve gone outside I’ve felt on display. Like everyone has seen right through me and realized I’m a broken fraudulent crazy delusional failure. I’m a fraud. Surrounded by books I never bring myself to read and projects I never bring myself to finish. I’ve got a history of college drop outs and withdrawals from classes that show I’m stupid and lazy and unambitious and unmotivated. I’m disgusting. I’m not good enough for anyone. I will forever be known as a liar and incompetent and a chameleon and a disgusting loser. Poser. Fooling myself in moments of false hope that maybe I could be something different in a good way. Someone worth anything. I’m toxic. I’m poison. I’m the person you leave behind to save yourself. I’m the person you give up on. No one will ever want someone as broken and fraudulent and empty as I am. I’m a really bad person and everyone saw it and knows it. I’ll always be a broken failure that nobody wants. I’ll always be the crazy psychotic fraud with no personality, that thrived on the pity and sympathy of others for their whole life. I’m alone. I’m broken. I’m crazy. Im a failure. I don’t make a positive difference in anyone’s life. All I bring is sadness and worry and discomfort and exhaustion. I’m weak. I self sabotage. I don’t pull my weight at work anymore. I can’t handle even the most minute inconvenience. I’m not strong enough to be here with everyone else. I’m an adult child

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