Broken
I’m not good enough or smart enough for anything.
I don’t do what I’m supposed to do to dig myself out of hardship because it doesn’t feel like it will ever be enough to undo all the mistakes I made. Nothing will change the narrative I left behind, or undo the hurt I caused, or mend my reputation. I know who I am now and who I’ll never be and what I’ll never have.
I’ll never love myself enough to change the narrative in my head. I’ll never believe in myself enough to work hard for myself. I’m not a person. I’m not like everyone else in the worst of ways.
Every time I’ve gone outside I’ve felt on display. Like everyone has seen right through me and realized I’m a broken fraudulent crazy delusional failure.
I’m a fraud. Surrounded by books I never bring myself to read and projects I never bring myself to finish. I’ve got a history of college drop outs and withdrawals from classes that show I’m stupid and lazy and unambitious and unmotivated. I’m disgusting. I’m not good enough for anyone.
I will forever be known as a liar and incompetent and a chameleon and a disgusting loser. Poser. Fooling myself in moments of false hope that maybe I could be something different in a good way. Someone worth anything. I’m toxic. I’m poison. I’m the person you leave behind to save yourself. I’m the person you give up on.
No one will ever want someone as broken and fraudulent and empty as I am. I’m a really bad person and everyone saw it and knows it. I’ll always be a broken failure that nobody wants. I’ll always be the crazy psychotic fraud with no personality, that thrived on the pity and sympathy of others for their whole life. I’m alone. I’m broken. I’m crazy. Im a failure. I don’t make a positive difference in anyone’s life. All I bring is sadness and worry and discomfort and exhaustion. I’m weak. I self sabotage. I don’t pull my weight at work anymore. I can’t handle even the most minute inconvenience. I’m not strong enough to be here with everyone else. I’m an adult child
@EvergreenPetrichor
I'm genuinely sorry
It's heartbreaking to see how sad and down on yourself you are!
I want to just let you know, I sit here quietly with you, I hear you, I send you my best wishes 💜 💕
if you can't change for yourself, do your best to change for others. You change, even when you don't see your self-worth. You change because you don't want people to get hurt because of your words and actions. Be the person that prevents themselves from hurting others. Be everyone's hero by telling the truth, making upright decisions, and make others feel heard and loved... the way you want to be understood, heard, and loved.
Change isn't done automatically, but it is a slow process where every micro decision has to be towards that change. You may mess up but slow progress is still progress. You are not the monster you think you are. And not all thoughts are your thoughts so don't believe every throught in your mind (the negative thoughts).
So what if you dont read the books you have or dont have any projects you finished? It is not a crime nor anything malicious behind those actions, Your worth isn't defined by what you accomplish. You already matter just by existing. Someone cared for you as a child and you mattered enough for them to take care of you well enough into adulthood (if you are an adult) and if they did not take care of you as well as they should have, you got the bare minimum of what was needed to bring to the day you currently are in now.
I am a college dropout too. I have dropped out of college twice. Yeah I am unemployed with no work and do not really have a source of income from a career, but who are people to judge us? What gives them the right to judge me? And who are they to judge you?
Great Expression of life feeling. I’m realy shocked and sad but it will not help or any of your point the best impression you gave that you such. Good wrist and express your feeling making readers completely involve n moving with you. You are not a Dumb guy but a sensible person and you change your mindset and positive thinking, bring you out of this inferiority complex. I see you as a nice decent qualified person s use your inner qualities and see where you are reaching , Don’t mothers n there, Don’t listen unrelated subjects of other and fully concentrate where you are going. Simple that hiding head under the send is not going to save you. All you wrote express your feelings. Find in your posting few points which you could have achieved believing in yourself. Start changing your lifestyle and meet with every one with humbleness and respect, you will receive more than what you did.
We all are here, most of us are on the same page with you but most of us keep Gratitude and comparing how much I’m better then may person, lots of people don’t have, what you have. Common, don’t give up, standup shake your mind and plan and start it confidently with positive mind, you will see lots of people join you support you and help you, you are not alone, we all here to motivate and help you.
Hope to see your next positive post and notice the change in your mind set and your confidence.
Best of luck, sir,🙏🙏🙏