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FacadeWorld
198 M Embraced 1
PathStep 4 Compassion hearts8 Forum posts2 Forum upvotes7 Current upvotes7 Age GroupAdult Last activeOctober, 2019 Member sinceJuly 17, 2019
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Am I going to be alright?
Depression Support / by FacadeWorld
Last post
 September 10th, 2019
...See more Is it normal to feel exceptionally down, depressed and sad on your birthday? I know birthdays are supposed to be a happy thing, but I just seem to slip down more into that black hole. Every depressing thing, sadness, worthlessness, uselessness, failure, emptiness, and aching gets so intensified and I feel like I cannot breathe. There's this gaping hole inside of me, I feel it so deeply today, and it scares me. I can't even feel like I can be happy on normal days, and now I feel even worse.
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Sick of feeling this way 😢
Depression Support / by FacadeWorld
Last post
 September 22nd, 2019
...See more There's waves of uncontrollable feelings of worthlessness that overwhelms me for awhile now, and I do not know what to do to shake them off. Sometimes I feel so constricted and have difficulty breathing when the waves come. How do you shake them off? There's nobody I can talk to, I do not have much friends, just 1 or 2 close ones but I'm ashamed and feel guilty of burdening them with my problems when everyone has their own problems themselves. As a child, I was bullied badly in school, I was a big kid, but I wasn't obese, just fat. Though it didn't matter and I still became the target that boys seem to enjoy bullying. It got to a point that I became the fat girl that all the boys in the school seem to shun and make fun off. I hated going to school. Growing up I guess I suppressed all these emotions unknowingly, and became socially awkward. I did not have the confidence to speak, make eye contact, and frequently self obsess on how others look at me. I have not been in a relationship before. I just want someone to love me, but I don't think I'll ever have that. I'm 30 now, and unemployed, got out of school 7 years ago, ashamed of how useless and worthless I am for failing to find a job. I know I need to, but I just cannot find the motivation or reason to do so. Suicidal thoughts flood my mind but I'm too much of a coward to actually go through with it. Without the ability to afford therapy and unwilling to leave a record of my mental health, where can I find help?
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