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FaithfulPrune9638
5,648 M Moving Along 1
PathStep 356 Compassion hearts226 Forum posts655 Forum upvotes570 Current upvotes570 Age GroupAdult Last activeMarch, 2024 Member sinceApril 18, 2018
Bio
Hello! I want to learn all I can here at 7 Cups. I have severe depression with traumatic stress and I want to be able to at least manage it if there is no cure for it. Well, there is one way to cure it, but I don't think I want to trigger anything here. But anyway, I like comedy stuff and I like to keep my TV usage G-rated. I could sit and watch movies like Twister and Mrs. Doubtfire all day long. Well, anything with Robin Williams :'( poor guy, and Adam Sandler in it. That's a little bit about my likes.
Recent forum posts
Faithful Prune Diaries #15 part 3: Pay Day
Journals & Diaries / by FaithfulPrune9638
Last post
 August 7th, 2022
...See more Part 3: Payday Well, here it is. I knew it would happen. I got paid and bought the cigs. He asked me for money and I said "I guess", then the apology for the way he talked to me came. It happens every time. It's a pattern every month. I know he's using me; I don't have the heart to say 'no'. I'm sorry people, it came to this. He doesn't even believe that I have the issues I say I do, doesn't even care, but everything's okay when I get paid. Why do I keep letting this happen? Why do I keep letting him use me for my money, and most of all, why do I not have the heart to say 'no'? Everyone is welcome to respond. Thank you!
Faithful Prune Diaries #15
Journals & Diaries / by FaithfulPrune9638
Last post
 July 27th, 2022
...See more Okay people. I know this is going to start off odd, but I posted this on another thread a few weeks back. I copied it and put it in my Faithful Prune Diary because there is another part of this story. Thank you! *I feel* Like a pile of crap. Why can't people just accept me for me? I got chewed out by a certain family member about my past decisions and my parenting style (permissive style). I even got told not to say how much I've done for them over the past years when I've done nothing for them. I give this person money every time I get paid and have been doing this for almost 20 years now. I even support the S. O. B.'s smoking habit by buying ciggies every time I have money, not to mention that this is when he apologizes and "tries to understand" me, considers me family. Other than that, every time I come into the light from the darkness, a fight breaks out, then I get the blame for starting them. Like, for example, I try to mention my depression. I get my phone and laptop threatened to be broken and told I am making it up for attention. My sister defends him, saying about how he is out of Paxil or he doesn't feel good, or he's out of his medical green stuff. Yes, I bring the money up in the fights, but that's because I know what's going on and I get chewed out even more. Today, I apologized for everything and asked for forgiveness. What did I get told? To find someone else to pull that $#!t on. I did all I could to make right. I told him not to expect me to forgive him. He just kept on telling me not to pull that $#!t on him. You know what? Now I know why I haven't healed from the abuse of my exes. Now I know why I can't get a grip on my depression and have to hide my medicine. It's not that he doesn't understand. It's the fact that he doesn't care about my personal wellbeing. I can't believe that I have a scar on my left wrist from a s**cide attempt from the fights with him and that I tried to OD on my sleeping pills and thought about jumping off the local bridge. All over an in-law that doesn't give a 💩, and they blamed my ex for it, then eventually blaming me for all that happened in my previous relationships. It is now time to detach from this person. I don't know how I will do it since we all live with my parents, but I will hopefully figure this one out. Their kids will still be in my life, just not him, and her if she keeps defending him. Thank you for letting me share!
Faithful Prune Diaries #14
Journals & Diaries / by FaithfulPrune9638
Last post
 December 15th, 2020
...See more Hi! How are you? I'm okay at the moment. I wanted to tell you here on 7 Cups because I know it is safe to talk about anything here, that I finally won my disability case after 11 years of fighting for it. I have severe depression and severe anxiety with degenerative disc in my L's. The only person who actually pushed me and to never to give up on it was my mom. Yes, she was the first one to know, and the only one. My 7 Cups family are the 2nd to know, which I am telling you now. The rest of my family doesn't know not they deserve it. The family member that I've mentioned here several times in the past, the one who never believed me and said I was just trying to get attention sure as heck don't deserve to know. I mean, why? He called me all kinds of names, including a crazy, attention seeking liar, talks crap to my kids about me like I'm not even there, and several fights broke out over me mentioning my mental health issues. I was even pinned to a sink by a table and put in choke holds, all because I mention it, being told to "put my big-girl panties on and wake the F up", or "you're just making excuses to keep from being a mother", "you just want attention", and many others including being called lazy and jealous, and that I'm just selfish and greedy. Before all this get said, he'll say something on the lines of needing to get help and get everything out in the open. I'm caught off guard every time. But I have learned that all that is a trap. Yeah, if he did find out about me winning my case and money coming in every month, he'll suddenly be "caring". My mental well being doesn't matter to the person, just the money. That would be the only reason. This is why I can't tell my 16-year old just yet. She has a thing about telling them everything I say or do, and she even thinks I'm jealous of her having a boyfriend because these people told her I was, because I am not getting the affection I need from a man. I don't even know why I would be jealous of my daughter dating. I just want her to be happy. The family thinks they know what's wrong with me without even asking, just assuming, when I try to tell them, they don't believe me. They are taking the assumptions as their solution. Ive told them that I will do ANYTHING to get my anger under control, and I was told "No, you won't" with a head shake. But they're there if I need to talk!? Okay, whatever! Well, I wanted to get this off my chest to people who actually cared without the parenthesise.
Faithful Prune Diaries #13 (Thank You)
Journals & Diaries / by FaithfulPrune9638
Last post
 November 9th, 2019
...See more Hey there! I know I haven't posted a diary here in a while, but I'm here today. I just want to say thank you to all of you for being there for me and everyone else when we need to talk to someone. I don't talk much to the listeners here, but you are still my people. When I post, I get nothing from here but love, validation, and non-judgement, where as certain family members in the outside gives me nothing but ridicule, judgement, and name-calling, such as attention seeker and a hypocondriac. This person thinks I'm faking depression just to take pills and they even told me they didn't care about what happened and it was all my fault it happened. To top it off, this person told me that they're sick and tired of hearing about it and that I'm being selfish for me to want to heal. He later apologized, but I didn't accept it. After that, he told me not to drive their car, drink his pop, and told the rest of the family not to help me in any way, and for me to stay away from him just because I didn't accept his "apologies". Did he forgive me for running away to another town with a man and breakng my family's heart, then my grandfather dying of a heart attack two months later? Helluva no! He tells me, screams to me that I'm not that dam sorry because I'm still hurting the family. Do I have the right to not accept his "apology"? I know he will do these things to me again. He also throws everything I ever say or do back in my face and my sister, his wife, let's him talk to me this way. Every once in a while she'll get onto him for it. I'm just forever grateful to have found 7 Cups because this is home base for me. Thank you so much for all your help and support! CLM
Lack of Support
Journals & Diaries / by FaithfulPrune9638
Last post
 September 4th, 2019
...See more I don't know why but I feel like I'm not getting the support I need here. I started seeing knives and bridges yesterday.
Faithful Prune Diaries #12
Journals & Diaries / by FaithfulPrune9638
Last post
 April 5th, 2020
...See more Well, hello there! I can tell its been awhile since I've posted my Faithful. I've been doing surveys over the internet for several years now, starting with Inboxdollars in 2006. Since then, I've picked up Branded Surveys, Survey Rewards, Survey Junkie, and many more ways to grab a dollar here and there. I tried applying for transcription jobs, but that one will take awhile since I don't have the speed for it. I don't know why they want their workers to be speed devils. Smh. I also solve captchas, so many cents per 1000 captchas, okay if you have all day to waste and I will usually do about 100 at a time. I found out that you can do voice over acting from home. Yes, you can play the voice of Popeye from your home in your jammies. I wanted to be an actress, but was discouraged from it due to the drug addiction rate, and it is pretty high. At least 7 out of 10. So, I ordered me a microphone off of eBay for under $10. I hope this one works out. I mean, work from home when no one is around from my bedroom or maybe an old shed we have out back if I can save one of them from being torn down. I can do this and will win my personal wars.
Faithful Prune Diaries #11
Journals & Diaries / by FaithfulPrune9638
Last post
 April 3rd, 2020
...See more There is something that I need to get off my chest. I was thinking of putting this in the anger threads but I feel like this is more important to do it in my little public diary here. Okay, a couple of years ago, I met a male in group therapy called PSR. I befriended this person he seemed so sweet. He is in Special Olympics, and so is my oldest daughter. He met her through that. My daughter is good at bowling, brought home the gold medals this year and there are pictures on my Facebook, including one with the two of them. They are on two different teams. We have texted a little bit but i backed off when he started talking XXX to me, knowing that i knew he had a girlfriend and i have met her also at PSR. Well, he has been talking to my daughter, which she considers him to be a creep, which i do not blame her. It is the way he talks to her and the things he says. He has a huge crush on her and i do not like it. He is 45 years old and texted her saying that "if i werent an old man, id date you in a heartbeat". She has it snapshoted. There is a problem with this. She's 14. Sure, i do not have a problem with her having friends that old, but when thwy start hitting on her and wanting to go out with her, that is a boundry crossed. I want to have a talk with this man about this because i am not happy about it. I have alredy theown my younger daughter's great-uncle in prison for touching her chest when i was a work, and i do not have a problem throwing this one in. He's not a good friend and I will betray anyone for the sake of my girls. Thank you! As always, voices are welcome on my personal thread.
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