Fiercelywoman7 Member Profile

...See more Hi all, I am in the midst of the cycle of abuse. Not physical. But on every other form. I don't know how to be strong and stand up for myself without being terrified of the repercussions. He wants me to be more sexually adventurous. He wants 3somes, a 2nd wife...hell he has even asked me to ask my own mother if she would like to get him off etc .....he has said it's important to him and otherwise makes him depressed. I told him I cannot ask my family, that is completely insane and off limits. I have given in to him in the past to please him in hopes of getting some kind of affection and love back. He gaslights me. If I dont "service him" over a couple of days, I'll get text messages throughout the night that I'm the worst. He doesn't understand how this is unhealthy and he certainly doesn't understand my comforts or boundaries. He sleeps til noon, doesnt help with house work, cooking etc .... He is a great dad in the fact that he is fiercely protective, plays with them, spends time and cares for them. He thinks of them and their well being. But he is not setting a great example for what a marriage should be. This is so long winded and I have sooooo much more. He will tell me the shut TF up often. I can't tell him how I feel because it escalates. He goes from 0-60 in anger. It scares me. I tried to point out he was wrong in punishing the kids one day and I pointed out a fact, proof etc...he didnt like that and got in my face and screamed (like blue face, veins popping out) "THEN FUCKING LEAVE ME" I wish I could ......I wish. I am weak. I am not strong. I am here seeking out how to build myself up. How to stand up for myself. To work my way to a better life. I'm not there yet but I'm hoping this is a first step.

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