Floki522 Member Profile

...See more I'm new to this, I've talked with people on here before when I was in need of someone to bounce feelings off of. I picked this forum even though other ones (Anxiety, Alcohol) apply. I grew up in a family where emotions were not to be shown unless in a time of much dispair (Death of family member, pet, etc) My dad was hard on me growing up sometimes, especially being the only boy out of 3 sisters. I grew up socially awkward and I've never been much to look at since I've been told I look unapproachable by friends and family. I've never had a large sense of self worth or confidence because of this to this very minute I type this out. I started to act out on my own free will in school to past time and I was expelled from school twice although I graduated from high school and vocational at the same time with an above average GPA. I was troubled but straightened myself out early on in adulthood by getting a car, a job and a few places but I realized how terrified I am to become close and vulnerable with anyone through dating and intimate encounters. My anxiety has gotten so bad to the point I panic being out around people often. I've been covering it up with alcohol the past few years to the point I feel overwhelmed and do things I wouldn't do like take drugs with it or act on impulse with any and every situation. My anger is worse when I drink but it's been the only thing that totally rids me of my anxiety and fear of expressing myself emotionally or physically. I feel so depressed and completely and utterly worthless as a person. My friends don't help at all, my family is going through enough grief at the moment to stop for anything as measly as myself, I have lost all desire to meet people, date or recently, even go anywhere. I'm fucking stuck in this whirlwind and I just wish I could get out. I feel very uncomfortable talking to someone I know out of fear they'll use this against me somehow so I need the help of someone who, probably couldn't care less, but is completely unaware of who I am and unable to get back at me through the hole in my emotional wall. I hope to hear from you guys, even if it's one person I'd feel a tiny bit better to talk to them.

Bio

Recent forum posts

Talk to an expert therapist

Welcome! Here is where your courageous step towards healing and personal growth...

About Us

Get Started

Online Therapy

Terms

Bio