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GinogHachi
3 568 M Embraced 4
PathStep 1 Compassion hearts15 Forum posts1 Forum upvotes2 Current upvotes2 Age GroupAdult Last activeJuly, 2025 Member sinceJuly 26, 2025
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I’m a terrible person
Relationship Stress / by GinogHachi
Last post
 July 29th, 2025
...See more I basically cheated on my partner. In December I had texted a girl l used to text back in highschool. Someone I met online. We texted and we had flirted that night. After that we never talked again. And in May of this year my partner found those messages and broke up with me. It was understandable, I fckrd up. After that we didn't talk for a few days. But when we did, I told her to come with me to Spain. She came with me for 2 weeks. Things between us of course were rocky but I was so happy to be with her in Spain and when we came back. When we came back we found out she was pregnant. She was scared, I was scared but we were happy. Financially speaking we aren't ready for a child but im going to do so much to be able to support her and our baby. Last week she found two screenshots from someone's close friends story on ***. She left me and said I was disgusting and to never talk to her again. We didn't talk for days. I tried talking to her but she didn't want to. Recently this week I went to her house to help her fix her bed that I broke. She wanted me to go home that night but I fell asleep. We ended up waking up around 4 in the morning and we cuddled, we kissed, we made love and slept together cuddling. It felt good to be with her, it felt somewhat normal but wasn't because of what I did. We've been hanging out after work and sleeping over as "friends" but it felt like more than that, it felt like we were together again but of course we weren't. I hurt her. The other night she asked me Willy didn't I just break up with her if I was doing these things behind her back. That if I knew I had something wrong with me then why didn't l break up with her. I stayed quiet. I didn't know how to answer that question. I guess a part of me wanted to say that I love her, I didn't want to lose her, I thought it was something I can stop on my own but I couldn't. I let that moment of lust win over me. She eventually just continued eating after I didn't answer. Today she asked me again, but told me to answer her or l'd have to go home. I couldn't answer it again, I frozeeee. I felt ashamed I didn't know what to say. She eventually wanted me to go home. She hasn't talked to me since, l asked her to let me know when she was going to PA today to visit family, I had asked her to let me know if I can still go. She said no basically saying she wouldn't let me know. I'm sad and disgusted and ashamed of myself. I hate that I hurt her, I know we've had our problems but those are problems that just needed talking about. But now I really ruined it. I am outside right now riding my bike listening to music, but I needed someone to talk to about this, im sorry for saying so much, I can't afford a therapist. I don't know what is wrong with my head, I don't know what's wrong with me, I just know I love her and don't want to lose her anymore. I'm sorry.
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