GloriaOlivia Member Profile

...See more Hi All, I'm a 28 years old girl. This gonna be a long thread, but I hope there's someone out there that read this. So, when I was born, my father's family expected that I were a boy. But turned out, I'm a girl. Based on my mother's story, they asked my mom to be divorced with my father because of that. I never clarify this with my father, since they didn't divorce at that time. Since I was a little, my grandma, my dad and I noticed that my mom loves my little brother more than she loves me. I can say that there's a lack of emotional support from my mother for me. I grow up trying my best to make my mom loves me. When I was 12, I have a little sister. She has spectrum disorder. When I was 21, our parents decided to divorced. I and my little sister decided to follow my mom. Because in my opinion, my dad is the one who did mistakes. I never clarify this with my dad. My relationship with my dad is also bad, because when I want to go to university, he refused to pay my tuition fee. I tried to get scholarships, and I get it, and he want to help me pay my living cost during my time at university because it's located in different city. My life with mom is not always easy, she keeps angry about my dad, and I keep give her emotional support. If we have fight, it always ended up with me asking her apologies, no matter what. One day when we had fight, I said I want to suicide if you keep being like this, and she said "Yes, go on!". She encouraged me to commited suicide. But I didn't do it. It's been 5 years after she said that, but it still hurts every time I remember it. It still makes me cry every time I remember it. And yesterday, my little sister got sick, I take care of her by call the doctor and get medicines for her. I informed my mom at 1 a.m. by text because I'm afraid to wake her up and disturbing her sleep. At 6 a.m. I bought medicines for my little sister. After that I text my dad informed him that my little sister got sick and went to work. And after I arrived at home after working, my mom suddenly angry.. So angry. At first she said that I never cared abiut my little sister. Then later she said that I'm so stupid because I texted my dad about my little sister. She was swearing at me. She regrets that she give me the access to the education. Then I said to her, how if I move out from this house, because everything I did seems wrong for her. I'm the one that bought this house actually. Then she got more angry. She said that she never happy being in this house. In fact I bought this house for her, because I think it's her dream to own a little house. And it hurts me so much when she said that she never happy being in this house. It's not easy for me to buy this house. I sacrifice almost everything to get it. I'm so much hurted by her words. I can't bear the pain. I love her, but she clearly said that she dislikes me. I read that it's called mother wound and I need to have some boundaries with my mother. But I think it's hard to do. I don't know what to do. :(

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