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GnT
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PathStep 2 Compassion hearts13 Forum posts4 Forum upvotes4 Current upvotes4 Age GroupAdult Last activeNovember, 2021 Member sinceMarch 5, 2018
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Caregiver burnout and guilt
Family & Caregivers / by GnT
Last post
 November 14th, 2021
...See more Hi. I feel guilty even typing this but I’m feeling completely burnt out from being the primary caregiver for my partner who is autistic/ADHD. I’m the only person making an income in our family unit and on top of my work (including a new job with more responsibilities), I also provide emotional, physical and financial care for this person. I enjoy many parts of it, love them so much and feel completely sure about the relationship. But because of their lack of time, financial and other resource management as well as dependency on certain substances to cope with their own struggles and autistic burnout, I also have to play a parental and policing figure in the relationship which completely drains me. From sleep schedules to meals to use of electricity to other bills to doctors/therapy appointments to medicine schedule to so many other things (daily, weekly, monthly), I’m constantly keeping track of things for them and having to persuade them. For someone who is resolutely child free, this feels like having a child but it’s also an adult whose autonomy I have to respect and navigate. They are also my partner and that aspect of our relationship suffers so much because of all these other things. They don’t have anyone else in their life who can play this role and I feel incredibly selfish and guilty for feeling so drained, tired and close to burnout but I don’t know what to do. I don’t want myself to be the central character of this or make my partner feel guilty for their neurodivergence (which I inevitably do when I get frustrated like right now at nearly 2am after begging them to go to bed for hours). So I hope this is taken in that spirit because I have no one to talk to about this without feeling guilty about making it about myself. Thank you.
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